[His jaw is clenched tight as he presses down harder with his hands, squeezing. His eyes are squeezed closed too, suddenly unable to take anymore of that red. It's his favorite color, it's his color, it makes sense that it's the color of everything that makes him up too. But right now he doesn't want to see it, prefers the black behind his eyelids]
[He feels there's something wrong in this too. Why isn't Norway fighting back, why isn't he fighting at all? He's supposed to be fighting, making this easy for him to do, but instead he's touching his wrist with the same gentle hands he spent an evening learning, denying everything he needs to believe to do this]
[The pulse under his fingers is strong, racing like his own heart. They're in tune again, Norway's last heartbeats will echo through him, he can carry them on]
[Except he can't. This isn't how it's supposed to be]
[His eyes snap back open, a choking sob leaving his throat as his hands leave Norway's, and he's scrambling back, eyes wide and panicked. There's blood on his hands, there's blood everywhere, it was almost Norway's blood. He's too dizzy, can't see clearly anymore as he scrambles back to his feet, unsteady, staring down at Norway in horror]
I'm sorry- I'm sorry!
[He can't be here. Needs to leave, find somewhere to breathe. He runs to the door, won't look back before he darts out. Needs to be alone now, the first time he's wanted to be alone as long as he can remember]
no subject
[He feels there's something wrong in this too. Why isn't Norway fighting back, why isn't he fighting at all? He's supposed to be fighting, making this easy for him to do, but instead he's touching his wrist with the same gentle hands he spent an evening learning, denying everything he needs to believe to do this]
[The pulse under his fingers is strong, racing like his own heart. They're in tune again, Norway's last heartbeats will echo through him, he can carry them on]
[Except he can't. This isn't how it's supposed to be]
[His eyes snap back open, a choking sob leaving his throat as his hands leave Norway's, and he's scrambling back, eyes wide and panicked. There's blood on his hands, there's blood everywhere, it was almost Norway's blood. He's too dizzy, can't see clearly anymore as he scrambles back to his feet, unsteady, staring down at Norway in horror]
I'm sorry- I'm sorry!
[He can't be here. Needs to leave, find somewhere to breathe. He runs to the door, won't look back before he darts out. Needs to be alone now, the first time he's wanted to be alone as long as he can remember]