I'm the oversized child? I didn't spit up on anyone's coat!

[He bristles at that smack, and if you thought this was going to be easy for you before it certainly won't be now. Turn away all you want, because he's crouching right next to the couch.]

My coat doesn't like you. Because you yell and say upsetting things.

[Stands.]

[Starts to walk away.]

[TURNS RIGHT BACK AROUND AND SITS ON YOU. PLOPS HIS BIG ASS DOWN RIGHT ON YOU!]