[It hurts and he's relieved and upset and like he's been saying all along, it's a mess. It's just a way to try to keep his chin up.]

Course. Be stupid getting killed after getting this far.

[It's going to be a long day on here with no living people he trusts. But then it'll be over and they'll be back, Lithuania will be back and then he'll be able to touch him again. Never really thought about how much he did before, but now he can't...]