she's the one who brought it up, but i guess i prompted her a little. she was like "who's hottest? jennifer lawrence is really hot-- and, there's you" and i sorta jokingly tried to be like "wow i can't believe you said that" and she was like "awkward!! but, i dunnooooooo!" in a teasing sort of "but i totally think it's true" tone
it's so dumb. i don't know why i couldn't just take it in stride and tease her back or something. i thought i was fine at first, but then i felt tears coming on and just kinda excused myself. maybe it's because she's undermined how i look in similar ways before in the past, like in that sort of "i prefer this but you're ok too" sort of way. and that always hurts a lot, even if most of the time she tells me i'm cute and she loves me. i've never said anything like that to her, and i never would.
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it's so dumb. i don't know why i couldn't just take it in stride and tease her back or something. i thought i was fine at first, but then i felt tears coming on and just kinda excused myself. maybe it's because she's undermined how i look in similar ways before in the past, like in that sort of "i prefer this but you're ok too" sort of way. and that always hurts a lot, even if most of the time she tells me i'm cute and she loves me. i've never said anything like that to her, and i never would.