I'm sorry I couldn't include everything, and N. Italy is more of a general help person than a dating one, and Sealand is just jealous because he doesn't have a show of his own. ♥
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Sealand flipped through the channels; why wasn't anything ever on at this hour! All because stupid jerk England wouldn't splurge for the TiVo he wanted ("We could watch anything we wanted! Whenever!"), now he was stuck with... nothing. Stopping on one show that looked promising, Sealand blinked his eyes and tried to follow what the American host of some weird new reality show was saying but - he spoke so fast. "So basically," he caught, "you gotta guess a number, and the person who guesses closest gets to climb the rope ladder first! Whoever does this fastest is the one to pick who the two worst--"
Sealand changed channels, hoping there was something, anything, better on... maybe - an explosion caught his attention, and his finger paused on the remote buttons as the camera panned and showed a comical close-up on the poor Austrian host who looked ready to rip someone to shreds. "Who the hell," he was saying, "put fucking gun powder in that?!" Apparently it was live TV. "I swear to everything holy, if this isn't fixed--" but he was unable to continue as suddenly, Sealand's television turned a nice shade of blue and bold, black letters appeared at the bottom of the screen, stating the show was currently suffering some technical difficulties, and not a few seconds after Sealand had finished reading a commercial for viagra was playing very loudly, and Sealand hurridly changed to something else before England came down and freaked. Plus those commercials were weird.
"-- this beautiful, authentic Tiffany look-alike," a leering albino said to the camera, "is something that you really do not want to go without! Look at the fucking diamonds on this thing, man -- oh, we're not aloud to say fucking?"
"Have you ever been sitting at home, sending letters and licking stamps and wondering to yourself, 'why am I always licking stamps? I wish there was some way that I could just get someone to lick them for me'? Well, now you don't have to wonder, because for just-- h-hey, Mr. Camera-man, I'm over here! No, what are you doing you're supposed to be focusing on me the show isn't done--"
"--econd letter comes from a Feliks in Poland, who asks: 'Dear Feli - what do you do when you're like, uber upset over things? 'Cause like, my friends have been like totally avoiding me lately, and I've tried asking them what's up but they just say it's nothing, even though I know it's like, definitely not nothing. And also, it's so cool that like, our names are almost the same!' Well, I would believe that what they're saying is the truth! Maybe they just need their own space right now, or something is going on, and they'll tell you about it when they're ready! But in the meantime, make sure you stay happy, so rent some nice videos and make yourself comfort food, like pasta! If you have family you can be with, hang out with them; the most important thing I've learned is the family is--"
Challenge Entry (fic) (Television Melts the Brain 1/2)
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Sealand flipped through the channels; why wasn't anything ever on at this hour! All because stupid jerk England wouldn't splurge for the TiVo he wanted ("We could watch anything we wanted! Whenever!"), now he was stuck with... nothing. Stopping on one show that looked promising, Sealand blinked his eyes and tried to follow what the American host of some weird new reality show was saying but - he spoke so fast. "So basically," he caught, "you gotta guess a number, and the person who guesses closest gets to climb the rope ladder first! Whoever does this fastest is the one to pick who the two worst--"
Sealand changed channels, hoping there was something, anything, better on... maybe - an explosion caught his attention, and his finger paused on the remote buttons as the camera panned and showed a comical close-up on the poor Austrian host who looked ready to rip someone to shreds. "Who the hell," he was saying, "put fucking gun powder in that?!" Apparently it was live TV. "I swear to everything holy, if this isn't fixed--" but he was unable to continue as suddenly, Sealand's television turned a nice shade of blue and bold, black letters appeared at the bottom of the screen, stating the show was currently suffering some technical difficulties, and not a few seconds after Sealand had finished reading a commercial for viagra was playing very loudly, and Sealand hurridly changed to something else before England came down and freaked. Plus those commercials were weird.
"-- this beautiful, authentic Tiffany look-alike," a leering albino said to the camera, "is something that you really do not want to go without! Look at the fucking diamonds on this thing, man -- oh, we're not aloud to say fucking?"
"Have you ever been sitting at home, sending letters and licking stamps and wondering to yourself, 'why am I always licking stamps? I wish there was some way that I could just get someone to lick them for me'? Well, now you don't have to wonder, because for just-- h-hey, Mr. Camera-man, I'm over here! No, what are you doing you're supposed to be focusing on me the show isn't done--"
"--econd letter comes from a Feliks in Poland, who asks: 'Dear Feli - what do you do when you're like, uber upset over things? 'Cause like, my friends have been like totally avoiding me lately, and I've tried asking them what's up but they just say it's nothing, even though I know it's like, definitely not nothing. And also, it's so cool that like, our names are almost the same!' Well, I would believe that what they're saying is the truth! Maybe they just need their own space right now, or something is going on, and they'll tell you about it when they're ready! But in the meantime, make sure you stay happy, so rent some nice videos and make yourself comfort food, like pasta! If you have family you can be with, hang out with them; the most important thing I've learned is the family is--"