aphanon_meme | part 348 candles in the lighthouse window

part 348 candles in the lighthouse window

Hey meme! How are you doing? What is up? Do you also have a candle lit in your window for the return of Himaruya? ~~like anon who is a light house wife!~~ I hope he returns from the sea soon, with stories of adventure and sea monsters and the life outside the island. Ah, Himaruya. Safe journeys. Safe... journeys.

Enjoy part 348!

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FINALLY SOMEONE who knows what they're talking abou-

[IS that? ARE YOU A TEENAGE GILBERT!? Ohhhhhhhh man this is not what she wanted to be the last Prussia standing for shit.]

OY!!! Hold up! WE NEED AN ARMY FIRST!!

[HE IS 19 AND HE IS A MAN GROWN, THANK YOU.]

PSHAH!! Army, Pretty?! Hah?! When you have me?! An army when the great me's standing in front of you?! I'm all the army you need against that pansy fake aristocrat, Pretty!! Trust me!! [DOES THE GASTON FLEX, ARE YOU SWOONED?!]

See?!!

[OH MY GODD YOU'RE SUCH A TEENAGE BOY ADULT GILBERT IS NEVER LIVING THIS DOWN!!!]

Oh yeah? Why don't you prove it by taking down that Danish barricade encroaching on our territory!! O-Or that giant Northern bastard seizing the capital!

[Yeah this thread is the capital now, sure why not.]

[HE IS A MAN AND GILBERT WILL THINK SO TOO. Tries to hide a flinch with a stumble and a laugh at the mention of Nordics WHO HE WILL NOT MESS WITH PERSONALLY AND SINGLE HANDEDLY]

K-KESESESESESE!! W-WHY DOESN'T THE INVINCIBLE ME PROVE IT BY DECLARING WAR ON AUSTRIA?! Those lame guys will take themselves out if you leave them to it anyway!! The northerners don't get along enough to be a threat, right?!--Yeah!! They'll self-destruct, trust me!! It's the little Prince we need to concern ourselves with, not mountain bumpkins!!

[HE IS A TEENAGE BOY IF SHE EVER SAW ONE AND SHE'S DELIGHTED Crosses her arms and quirks a brows. She was scared shitless of the Nordics back then too but goddamn it how else is she supposed to ensure she's the last Prussia standing!?]

BECAUSE COMING HOME FROM A SIEGE ON VIENNA TO FIND YOURSELF IN NORDIC HANDS IS STUPID. They're allies now!! And more importantly the Danes have support that we don't have!

[DON'T CROSS YOUR ARMS AT HIM AND DON'T USE STUPID IN A SENTENCE WITH HIM. GETS ALL AFFRONTED and draws himself up to his full height, glowering.]

WHO SAYS I'LL COME HOME FROM VIENNA?!! You take this dump and you deal with the Nordics, you wanted this place, whoever the fuck you are, and they want this place! Which guess what that means, hah?! That they're your fuckin' problem, Woman!! Next time, don't throw my fearsome name around and claim land you can't fight for! Idiot!! Shaggy she-dog! The real kingdom of Prussia will be expanding his territory in places that are fuckin' worth bothering for!!

[SNUBS YOU, turns around with a dramatic flip of his cape]

[You know your temper tantrums are a lot cuter when you've still got a hint of a baby face...]

Aha, now I see why everyone says the Kingdom of Prussia is better as a woman. Do you even know where you are?

[Oh god did they really used to wear capes? Jesus who thought that was a good idea. Well if you've got your back to her she'll grab you by the back of your shirt along with your stupid cape and YANK you back as hard as she can hoping to plant you on your ass.]

Tch. Dream on, Wench. There's much place for women in my kingdom, you know, not even in the old man's castl--[NO BUT HE'S NOT DRESSED FOR THE FIELD HE'S DRESSED TO LOOK PRETTY AND FORMIDABLE AND FANCY AND==]

--KEH!! [She catches him off guard AND TIIIMMBEEERR, Down he goes, she gets to see him yelp and flail and stagger backwards before he collapses all undignified, a shocked look of utter disbelief on his face, sprawled on his back utterly scandalized]

Y-YOU!! YOU DARE--T-TH--[You know he's not accustomed to shouting threats at attractive women who aren't Hungary looming over him so he stammers and blusters before settling on]

D-DON'T DO THAT!!! [like he's telling off a slow child]

'THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! [attempting to hop back on to his feet immediately]

I'm the Kingdom of Prussia too and the strong me doesn't take insubordination lightly!

[Oh god you are a teenage boy she knew it, shit it's really hard not to laugh. But goddamn it she'll try because the last time she made fun of a past Gilbert her Teuton self showed up and everything went to shit so...]

This land we're on right now, connects not only to all of Europe, but also all of Asia and all of the New World too!! But if you don't waaaant it I guess we can go tell Fritz what a great opportunity he's missed. The Old Man won't mind at all right? He's not desperately trying to increase your territory or anything huh?

[There's a little grin to her voice, now that she knows when you're from she's much better equipped to deal with you.]

Like hell you are....[Peers into your face, just to be manly and threateningly with size alone. There's a narrowing of his eyes as he looks into yours. OHHH...REALIZATION DAWNING ON HIM. He's been here long enough to know what you are]

...E-Even if you have my eyes and my hair, as long as I'm me, I won't acknowledge you!! I refuse!! So there!! [Brushes himself off, wondering if he should teach you a lesson before wrinkling his nose]

Haaaaaaaaaahh, this place? You think my old man will want this place?! [He's interested but he's going to snort like he's not anyway and look around at all the anons and eyes.gifs like he's bored when in actuality he's doing a mental mapping of his surroundings and calculating everything. He doesn't like your grin. He doesn't like it!! RESPECT HIMMM!! Time to be scary and cool]

Looks like a tit fest with a bunch of short old aunties who don't quite know their place!! How about this, Schätzlein, you go ahead and destroy every worthy man in this place with your cowardly cape pulling move, then when you're done, me and my old man swoop in and destroy you?! There can only be one, after all!!

[She frowns slightly when you recognize her. If you're a veteran of this place it won't be as easy to convince you to go out into battle on your own. And while she's pretty sure modern strength eclipses past strength since they're in the present and all it's less fun to try to test it out.]

Don't worry Gilbert, I don't need acknowledgment from a little boy who hides behind the fact he's got a cock between his legs.

[SORRY IT'S JUST FUNNY RILING YOU UP oh man you're like the weirdest nostalgia trip and she wants to see what you'll do. She's almost forgotten her goal of being the last Prussia standing. Almost.]

Poor Fritz, finally gets a male nation in your world and he's too scared of a Denmark armed with eggs to fight!!

[His face darkens at that, eyes getting a little bit harder and his smile looking all a little too forced to be sincere. Modern experience is greater than brute strength but he will give you a hell of a time in a fight before he gets his ass kicked.]

Kesesese. At least I have a cock and aren't wearing men's pants, playing pretend!

[Presses in close suddenly, bringing his knee up against her in a mock gesture of what he would really do to her if she were only male. It's the most insulting thing he can think of, violate her bubble and remind her that she's a girl who TOTALLY DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS, UNLIKE HIM, and to further it, not even knee her with force to show her masculine mercy. But her comment has royally pissed him off and he detaches from her, LOOKING ALL ANGRY AND SOUNDING ALL ANGRY AND RED IN THE FACE AND EARS AND CAN'T HELP IT.]

Ah, ah, Luckily, even the vicious just like an eagle me can feel pity for easy pickings like you!! So!! I'll let you off with a warning this time! Watch your mouth, little lady, or you'll force me to do something ungentlemanly!! [makes like he's going to backhand her only to pat her cheek all patronizingly]

Understood?! [Now is a good time to kick his ass, just sayin]

[Uh oh, looks like she hit a nerve! You know it probably says something horrible about her that she finds riling up her alternate past self up so much fun but, well, he's making it terribly easy. Well. She does like bonus points, it's like an extra achievement see, and since her take over seems to be failing on every other front she might as well release some tension beating up this smug asshole. Best part is it won't affect her relationship with modern Gilbert!

She's pretty passive while he's grand standing, oh god was she really so up her own ass too at his age? Probably. But it was a mistake to come back towards her for that little cheek pat. Up close and personal is how she likes to fight too, after all, and since he didn't have the balls to do it she'll take the chance to grab him firmly right between the legs.]

Now why would I want these? They're so weak and sensitive. It would be a shame if I did anything to them wouldn't it?

[THERE'S A FULL BODY JOLT AT BEING GRABBED AND A GASP THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE HIS SOUL ESCAPING. EYES WIDE AND MOUTH IN A PERFECT O AS HE FREEZES, STARING AT HER]

Y-You fuckin--O-Oi--E-Easy now!! EASY!! Easy!! Easy!! EASY!! [Practically squealing, her grip isn't comfortable at all, IT'S AWFUL and he's on his tip toes, his hands hovering in a panic over her hands before grasping her wrist GINGERLY, GENTLY, FEARFULLY, A PRAYER AND A CURSE AT HIS LIPS.]

HRHH---[TORN BETWEEN SQUIRMING AND STAYING STOCK STILL. CHEST IS HEAVING, SWEATING]

M-Me-Mercy..!!! [SQUEAKING]

[Now see, if she were her Kingdom self she'd rear back and take advantage of the fact his guard is down to sock him in the face. But she's old and mellow now and he looks so damn scared. Ah well. His surrender counts surely. She leans in, bringing her free hand up to pat his cheek just like he did to her earlier.]

Good boy.

[Aaaand she releases him. Please don't cry.]

[HE'S NOT GOING TO CRY, HE'S GOING TO STAGGER AWAY, SHAMELESSLY MASSAGING HIS PRECIOUS MAN JEWELS AND GROANING]

Y-You She-beast--

C-Coward!! [fear turning into embarrassment which is turning anger]

DAMN YOU, MAYBE I'LL TEAM UP WITH THE FUCKING NORTHERNERS NOW JUST TO SEE YOU SUFFER!! SLEEP WITH YOUR EYES OPEN, WOMAN!! [SCURRIES OFF, INFLAMED]

DON'T FORGET TO ICE YOUR DICK PROPERLY GILBERT!!!

[Did she yell that as loud as she could across the meme? Yes, yes she did. It's the simple things sometimes.]

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part 348 candles in the lighthouse window

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