aphanon_meme | part 349 heart shaped chocolates

part 349 heart shaped chocolates

Hi meme! Happy Valentine's day! I hope you have a sweet one. (Get it? Sweet? Because... chocolates and candies. Yeahhh.) Sadly, I don't think a candle in the window for Himaruya has led him home--yet. It's all very romantically tragic. Or tragically romantic. I don't know.

Enjoy part 349!

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[AH- ]

Really, was that necessary? You idiot- do you have any idea of the price of silk- [RAMBLES ABOUT TAKING CARE OF CLOTHING while brushing his cravat off and putting it back on properly AND SCOLDING YOU]

I KNOW WHAT A "FOH-TOH" IS!! [DOES NOT KNOW. That is a bit before his time. CRUMPLES THEM UP IN HIS HANDS INTO LITTLE BALLS and tosses them at your mouth as you speak]

"Friendly", hah? Regardless of Fritz thinks, I can do without your brand of friendly, old man! Here's some "Friendly" advice from yours truly, fuck off before I decide to give you a proper haircut!

[SHE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE. Isn't she?! No, she's the hero! No way she's not- what are you, Canada?!]

It- I- [sputters] H-hey, I'm not an asshole! It's not like I don't fix things when they go wrong! [Or tries. Sometimes.]

[Good thing those are copies. You would never be trusted around artifacts. Ever.]

Fine, fine! [Pats the air, gosh gosh.] Just don't come crying to me when history chews you up and spits you out! My brand of 'friendliness' might not be available then!

[Huff huff.]

/late

Ah, thanks anon!

I SAID SHUT UP!! YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT!!

[OH MY GOD, CLAWS HIS OWN FACE, DRAGS HIS HANDS DOWN UNTIL THE PINK OF HIS EYES SHOW, BARES HIS TEETH LIKE THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE IS THE MOST IRRITATING THING IN THIS WORLD, WHICH IT IS]

SHUUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!! You sound like a fucking squawking chicken! Shut the hell up!! What is with this place and everyone thinking they can scold me, hah?! I WON'T BE LECTURED, SHUT UP!! [SHOUTS OVER YOU HOLY SHIT]

I thought you with tits was fucking worse, but you're making me change my mind again!! At least she keeps her mouth shut like a woman should!

-and it is extremely difficult to get good tailors- will you stop shouting, for goodness' s-

[takes a moment to catch up and just look at you funny]

Excuse me? What are you referring to?

[SHAKES HIS HEAD]

[UNBUTTONS HIS PANTS WHILE YOU ARE YABBERING]

[RELIEVES HIMSELF AT YOUR FEET BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT UNDERSTANDING THE CUE TO SHUT UP AND THIS IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND YOUR THOUGHTS ON HIS HISTORY]

[he is wild ~~and i would say I'm sorry but~~]

[Ok that's it.]

[TACKLES.]

[ATTEMPTS TO STRANGLE. YOU'RE DEAD. CURSING IN FRENCH AND GERMAN GTFO]

[Looks up at you with his face all stretched and then sees the look on you and

in a second

grins. Malevolently]

You. As a girl. Tiny thing. With tits. Kesesesese!! Didn't you know?! I wandered across her and we played a bit!

Ohh are you talking about these?

http://thedailyhetaquin.tumblr.com/

[SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER]

[CURSES YOU BACK IN FUCKING ABSOLUTELY FLUENT FRENCH, NOT A HINT OF THAT GERMAN HEAVY ACCENT HE PUTS ON THESE DAYS. BEING STRANGLED!!! HE DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO ATTACK HIM LIKE THIS HE WAS EXPECTING LIKE AN ARISTOCRATIC BACKHAND BUT NOT STRANGLING. HOW FAR YOU HAVE SUNK, FRANCE.

GARGLY SHRIEKING. SLAPPING AND PUNCHING AT YOU WITH ONE HAND BUT HE IS PREOCCUPIED TOO WITH TUCKING HIMSELF AWAY AND THIS IS NOT AN IDEAL POSITION]

LEEGGGGGOO!!

I'm waiting to watch this on TV tonight but someone on tumblr is being vitriolic that they didn't deserve to win over the Canadians who got silver (they're even saying the US must have bribed the judges because one of their dad's is rich). Any thoughts?

[what are you talking about]

Have you finally managed to become so inebriated that you hallucinate? Is this some wish fulfilment nonsense? Or have you harrassed some unfortunate girl under the mistaken impression that she had anything to do with me?

Davis and White's performance was nearly flawless. They most definitely and undoubtedly deserved that gold based on that performance and their performance the night before. The Canadians are just sour grapes.

[GOD YOU'RE SUCH A GODDAMN GIRL.]

[AND YOU CALL FRANCE A WOMAN. GOSH.]

[NOPENOPENOPE ROLLS, PUNCH, HAND STILL ON YOUR NECK.]

YOU ARE A DISGUSTING, NO GOOD, WORTHLESS NATION!

[HITHITHIT CURSE CURSE CURSE. YOUR MOTHER WAS A WHORE AND YOUR FATHER WAS A BASTARD SON AND LSKJEKLSEJKSTHLSES YOU SUCK TOO MUCH WHY WERE WE EVER FRIENDS.]

Ah, Ah. I thought she was one of your princesses, but turns out this place is crawling with the women versions of ourselves! Name's Lieselotte, has the mole on the other side of her lip! Screamed like you! Slapped like you when I pulled her hair! Carried around a useless fencing sword like you do when you're dressed pretty, kesesese! Stabbed me when I grabbed her! Has more balls than you by far! [now you know that by play he means bully and not what your dirty married mind went to. He is pure.]

I don't have all day to convince you so!! Either you believe the honest as a little song bird me or you don't!! Doesn't matter, I plan on just offing you one day now and replacing you with her! She'll be easier to step on!!

Okay! Thanks for your comment. I can't wait to see them skate tonight!

[SOMEHOW BEING ON THE MEME SEEMS TO HAVE HIM MORE BRUISED AND BLOODY THAN HE USUALLY IS]

[SEES STARS AND HIS TEETH ARE RINGING AND HE'S SURE SOME OF HIS WOUNDS HAVE REOPENED AND HIS FACE IS NUMB AND HIS NOSE IS BLEEDING BUT THAT ONLY GIVES HIM MORE REASON TO AMPH UP THE AGGRESSION]

[YEAH OKAY, MAYBE NOT, HE CAN'T BREATHE AT ALL. ABANDONS ALL HOPE TO PRESERVE HIS DIGNITY, ONE ARM ON THAT HAND ON HIS THROAT, THE OTHER CLAWING AND TANGLING AND YANKING INTO YOUR HAIR WITH ALL HIS STRENGTH WHILE TRYING TO DESPERATELY KNEE YOU. YOU HAVE HIM PINNED, YO HAVE WEIGHT ON HIM, YOU ARE OLDER THAN HIM.

DON'T KILL HIM.]

[pure until she rejected you. For some people 'playing' has nothing to do with schoolyard stupidity but you wouldn't know anything about it would you]

...How...I- I find this very hard to believe, coming from you- grabbed her? Stabbed you?! [PRETTY MUCH THINKS YOU'RE MESSING WITH HIM but it's weirdly convincing, what if you did run into a princess and bullied her HE'S GOING TO GET IN SO MUCH TROUBLE FOR LETTING IT HAPPEN, ARGH]

Hmph- whatever you did, to whomever it was, I do not want to hear of it again- you lower yourself even further, I see, hoping for a woman you can push around. What, do you expect me to believe there is- some sort of- woman you running around, as well? [what a thought]

[OW.]

[HIS HAIR. HOW COULD YOU.]

[Just SHRIEKS, and backs off when he sees you turning purple.]

[Quick to shuck his urine covered shoes off and ugh ugh the socks too, this is gross.]

You're an animal! Go back to where you can from, and do us all a favor!

EVERTYTHING IS A CONSPIRACY AGAINST CANDIANS

[W-Well, rejection takes time to learn how to take. Shimmying over suddenly. Removing eye-wear and ruffling your hair down without warning or permission]

There! Now you're a dead ringer! Sorta! She's prettier than you are, Kesesese! This plain stupid face on a young girl is something else entirely! [Grabbing your chin, tilting it this way and that because what you say is boring and he's bored and he feels like touching ya. But he frowns at "lower". GRR THERE'S THAT FEELING OF GUILT AGAIN]

Tch, There's no such thing as "lowering" yourself when it's war!! If she's you, she's fair game to further myself! Don't play the fucking gentleman here, you low life! You would do the same and worse! Besides, I pushed her down so! If anyone was so low they were kissing dirt, it was her!! [FORCIBLY LAAAUGHSS because he's a jerk and he refuses! Refuses! to feel bad about it]

And yeah, there's a girl me. Bigger bitch than I could ever hope to be! She did a number on the great me and I have the bruises to show for it, wanna see?! In case you want to play with her too, fair warning! [SHOWS ANYWAY, Pulls down the waistline of his pants down a bit to his hip to show off some nasty looking cane marks scattered among his collection of bruises and scars. Constantly beat up.]

[THERE IS SO MCH YOU DON'T NEED ALL OF IT]

[Jst gonna lay there and pant and breathe for a moment before he sits up, dangling a good chunck of blonde hair in his hand so you can notice before tossing it into his puddle there]

Tch. [FINALLY Tucking away his manhood, jesus christ, before he snorts and wipe away the blood and sweat from his face gingerly]

Takes an animal to know a fuckin' animal! I was here first so how about you fuck off back down the shithole you crawled out of?!! [TALKING HURTS. BEING ALIVE HURTS. HIS WHOLE FACE HURTS]

[OFFENDED GASP. HIS HAIR. IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.]

Are we going to argue over Gaels and Germanics, again, over who came first?

[JUST. COVERS HIS HAIR, PULLS UP HIS COLLAR SO NO ONE CAN SEE.]

I am leaving you to your pig sty, then! [STORMS OFF. GONNA GO...FIX HIS PRECIOUS HAIR SOB.]

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part 349 heart shaped chocolates

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