aphanon_meme | part 353 whalers on the moon

part 353 whalers on the moon

We've been here over a year now! I can hardly believe it! Dreamwidth's been pretty good, I'd say, with almost no downtime to speak of and all that! Anyway... how is your spring going? Or I guess it's almost summer, isn't it? Hopefully it's been well! I've been catching up on work and new movies, all very exciting stuff, I'm sure.

Enjoy part 353!

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[STUBBORNLY CHEWING HIS ANKLES. You think a bit of noise and an unwashed angry pig is going to deter them in pursuit of chicken legs, you are mistaken. They are as spoiled and entitled as their mistress]

I had nothing to do with your suffering, you relentless oaf! You- disgusting boar- ugh! [PHYSICALLY RECOILING. Vile.] H-How dare you- how dare you even suggest- Nannerl would sooner relieve you of your teeth than let you ride her-

[Utterly disoriented, alarmed and bothered by the MESS in front of her in all senses, clutching her basket and a passing pug like a shield, and jumping a foot when he throws that knife]

D-Don't- aah! [FEARFUL...and then annoyed] Those are silver! How was I to know what you meant when you act as though you have never used silverware in your life, you abominable cretin! What are you talking about now?!

[Cars?

.....................Oh. Oh okay no she doesn't know either, BUT she is not so stupid as he is, so she tosses her hair as if it's obvious]

Carriages, of course. Have you ever set foot in civilised society?

[A FLURRY OF COLORFUL CURSES. OH MY GOD THEY ARE LIKE FURRY INSECTS, OKAY FINE, tossing them some of the food he's taken a good distance AWAY FROM THE TABLE.]

You and your dogs need a good smack or three, none of you know how to act, tch! And like hell you didn't!! Lying is a damn sin, you know! Deny all you want, the heavens will pass their judgment on you and bring punishment down on you!! [Nyehyheynyeh, excuse him while he continues to liiiiiiiiiiick every piece of food he eats slowly and deliberately]

Nannerl will let me ride her just fine, she's an old, stupid slow mare just like her owner! I've ridden the crazed beasts my Hungary calls tame just fine, I can handle some old nanny horse!! If you don't want a lesson in walking, behave yourself and do as I say obediently as a little bird!! [And she wants him as a husband??? She's giving him an inch with her fluster and he's taking a mile, totally walking over her because she's too riled to take control of the situation.]

First off, apologize to me!! You're stuck-up, bourgeoisie, persistent, rude and damn annoying and everything out of your mouth, including that, offends me!! A hungry man like the starved me doesn't give a cold hell about utensils!! This is finger food!! Anyway, as a woman, you shouldn't criticize a sickly man!! AND WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT SILVER!! Shut up and let me speak!! [SHE IS RICH ENOUGH TO BRING HER FINEST SILVER UTENSILS OUT TO PICNIC SHE CAN SPARE TO LOSE A FEW. oKAY now he's flushing a little because this next thing is embarrassing, BUT HE'S FEELING STRONG AND EMPOWERED, and stuttery with his voice cracking BUT STILL]

S-S-Secondly, verbally acknowledge o--our-- marriage proposal is null and void!! [said all rushed and quickly and then SUDDENLY SHOUTING Because he is not finished]

THIRDLY!! That is no damn carriage!!! They don't make them out of metal!! It's too damn heavy for the horses to pull!! What is it really?! Don't you dare lie to me!! You're rich enough to make a miracle happen, what the hell is it really?!

[And just like that they scamper away to eat it, BUT THEY WILL BE BACK SOON ENOUGH. SOON ENOUGH.]

Y-You- you-

[She wants to marry him, seize his assets and then lOCK HIM IN THE ATTIC FOREVER UNTIL HE WITHERS AWAY BECAUSE SHE HATES HIM. INTENSELY.

Listening to him piling insult after insult, making demands and otherwise being a BRUTE in the presence of a LADY who is worth a hundred of him, h o w d a r e h e. She is so flustered, but the more he talks the more his words blur into one big noise and the more furious she grows until she can take no more

sTANDS THE FUCK UP ANGRILY, BEARING DOWN ON HIM WITH HER TREMBLING DECOLLETAGE]

Stop shouting! And I neither know nor care what they are, if you care so much, go and investigate yourself! But firstly-

[SLAMS HER HANDS DOWN ON THE TABLE]

Shut your vulgar, uneducated mouth for once and let me speak! I won't apologise for anything to a waste of space like you, you are the cause of all your own troubles and mine besides! And you can leave my pets, possessions and person out of it! You are a despicable, dishonourable savage and you have no table manners!

[taKES A BREATH. CONTINUES, HEFTING A LARGE APPLE LIKE SHE'S GOING TO THROW IT POINT BLANK AT HIS HEAD]

And I will not be made a fool of now! As loathsome as you are, I utterly refuse to acknowledge any reneging on our engagement! Refuse! You will be held responsible for every insult you have done me, is that clear?! [Held responsible by being IMPRISONED IN MARRIAGE. This is no longer opportunism, but revenge.

And to drive the point home, have a battalion of small furry soldiers returning from their meal to launch themselves at him]

[Her standing up so suddenly startles him enough to make him jump and fall silent, staring at her and her DECOLLETAGE wide-eyed and open mouthed as she throws words at him right back. FLINCHES AT THE HAND SLAMMING JESUS CHRIST. She gets to see his face transform into a wonderful shade of red and his lips come close to twist into a sowl]

YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH SPEAKING!! If you won't fuckin' apologize to me properly like a damn lady, I won't give you my fucking gentlemanly ear! I'VE HAD ENOUGH!! [It's his turn to clatter to his feet only because her dogs are getting riled up by her shouting and trying to eat him. But he takes it a step further than she, CLIMBS UP THE ENTIRE FUCKING TABLE AND STOMPS ACROSS IT, mashing food underfoot and making a beeline for her horse]

LIKE HELL I WILL! Responsibility falls on you for being in-fucking-sufferable and a DAMN IDIOT! You're a damn hag of a woman AND I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO MARRY YOU! I REFUSE! YOU HEAR ME, I REFUSE! GOD AS MY WITNESS, I FUCKING REFUSE! [CROSSES HIMSELF LIKE SHE IS THE DEVIL]

I REFUSE TO EVEN LOOK AT YOU FROM HERE ON!!! Kiss my ass, you ugly sow! AND WEAR A DAMN SHAWL, YOUR DAMN TITS ARE PISSIN' ME OFF!! [approaching poor Nannerl who is already throwing her head and snorting fearfully and trying to take her by the reins]

Edited 2014-06-09 00:53 (UTC)

[SCREAMS AND STAGGERS AWAY FROM THE TABLE, oh my god he is actually a wild barbarian lunatic dO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THAT PIE DISH WAS]

GENTLEMANLY?! How dare you- how dare you- you- Preuße!

[Shrill with outrage now, at his incessant insults and most of all his attempts to shake off her hand in marriage. Backed up by a chorus of high pitched barking and shrieking to be heard over it, the whole cacophony frightening the horse out of her wits]

Stop talking about them- unhand my horse! [Oh no he doesn't, CHASES AFTER HIM ACCOMPANIED BY HER SUDDENLY VICIOUS ATTACK HOUNDS. But she doesn't particularly need to do anything other than call out to her horse- ]

Nannerl!

[ -who takes it upon herself to buck wildly and aim a very precise, very HARD kick in his direction]

[It's important to imagine everything happening in slow motion. Her fluffy cute dogs snarling and yapping as they rush towards him, Lottie furiously chasing after him, dress balled in her fists to keep her from falling, the horse bucking wildly and Gilbert struggling to keep grip on her reins and bring her to task, but getting distracted by Lottie and turning suddenly to hurl more insults on her just as Nannerl rips her halter lead out of his hands and turns into him to aim a BRUTAL kick right into his solar plexus.

There's the sickening sound of human flesh and bones being slammed into by powerful hooves and he sees a blindingly painful flash of white, red and then BLACK AS HE CRUMBLES TO THE FUCKING FLOOR. He's unseeing in pain and confusion for a moment, and in a display of his strength, sheer instinct and will power, he staggers to his feet enough to stumble out of a wild Nannerl's way BEFORE COLLAPSING AGAIN]

HHHH [ONE SHUDDERING, PAINED BREATH]

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!! YOU BIIITTTTTTTTTTCCHHHH!!!! [GRRRRROAAAAAAAAAAAAANING AND MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAANNNING AND GASPING AND WHEEZING IN PAIN AND SHOCK loud enough to wake the world oh my god THAT HURT]

Edited 2014-06-09 01:20 (UTC)

[Of course, to her, it all happens in a second or two, and to be honest, even she is surprised by Nannerl's violent, panicked reaction, because she's usually a gentle enough horse...if proud, and not dissimilar to her owner in her tolerance for rudeness. Still, Lottie screams and covers her eyes briefly as the kick connects; by the time she looks again, Nannerl has galloped away across the field to buck to her heart's content.

...Everything goes strangely quiet as she finally looks to Gilbert, even the dogs quieting to whimpers and circling nervously. H-He looks badly...injured.............um]

A-Are you-

[uNTIL HE SOMEHOW FINDS THE STRENGTH TO CALL HER A BITCH. UH, SHE DIDN'T KICK HIM. Asshole]

Well. I think I have had just about enough of fools who disregard warnings and continue to hurl insults at those who would help them. Hmph.

[Glares down at him, before wandering a bit helplessly in her wild horse's direction, not exactly willing to approach her but with nothing better to do. You know, like assist the dying, wheezing man on the ground, since he's so incredibly ungrateful and horrible]

[WHEEZING. CAN YOU BLAME HIM, THOUGH. CAN YOU REALLY BLAME HIM]

HHhh--W-Where the hell are you going?!!--H-HEY!! My ribs are broken!! You can't just walk away-- [They're just badly bruised thanks to his nation strength but what does she know]

W-What the hell happened to taking responsibility!! O-Oi!! [Talking really hurts man, PANICKING AT THE SIGHT OF HER WALKING AWAY, HE CAN'T GET UP, HE'LL LIE HERE PRONE FOR ALL SORTS OF WILDLIFE AND ANONS TO MOLEST. But he lacks the common sense to apologize]

LIESELOTTE!! [ABOUT TO CRY BABY VOICE, C'MON. take pity on him, he is in so much pain right now he's sweating buckets. THIS IS A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE HIM HER HOSTAGE]

[Oh hush, she's not going far, just hovering awkwardly and watching her horse gallop joyfully around a bunch of tents]

I shall never catch her at this rate...

[Pausing at his words, not looking back, but letting out an irritated, conflicted sigh.]

Responsibility? You refused to do so, did you not?

[BUT...him crying out her name like that and the worrisome breathy quality to his voice eventually tug on some kind of moral centre, and she turns back to him, frowning at the sight because he's shaking and sweating so much she's almost feeling it vicariously]

...Lie still, you may puncture something.

[...She's not a nurse, she's not actually sure what to do for broken or bruised ribs...just pain relief, isn't that all you can do? Well...alright, returning to the table to fish around in the picnic basket]

Hmm...

[Aha. Produces a small bottle of strong brandy, very delicately lowering herself to the grass in order to offer it to him. Looking rather put out and grumpy about it all, eyeing the hoof marks on his chest. God, what is she supposed to do without assistance]

I won't be able to move you, you know.

[he sounds more like a dusty bellow right now]

It's different!! [Panting, ow, ow, ow.]

I'm a fuckin' [Shaky inhale and exhale] s-saint and you're a--a damn tyrant. I won't take respons-[heave ho trying to breathe man]-ibility for your evil!!

[ignoring both her advice and her brandy, rolls painfully to his side before shakingly sitting up, left hand covering that spreading bruise]

Y-Your people are. [Long pause to breeathee, okay no more full sentences] close by. Right? Take me. Your place--doctor--Pull. [HEAVE HO HEAVE HO BREATHING]

We'll. Walk. [Right hand thrusting towards her for her to help him to his feet, slightly impatient and snappy. Pull him up. Has a lot of nerve asking for her help for someone so rude. If they start to walk away, Nannerl will probably follow eventually and they can ride her the rest of the way if he doesn't faint first]

Edited 2014-06-09 02:24 (UTC)

[Well, it seems he's still rude and stupid, even injured, even when she's willing to help him. The nerve of it all. Pockets her brandy then, fine.]

You will only hurt yourself more-

[Sigh. Ignoring his overblown nonsense and getting to her feet wearily, looking around at the remains of her picnics and deciding to abandon the silverware (and send a grunt to retrieve it later, obviously)]

Yes, my company is near...by...

[Hey...yeah, help is close at hand, but more importantly, so are lots of armed gentlemen who will be only too happy to keep this guy under supervision...HMMMMMMM]

You might at least say please. Very well.

[Strangely accepting of his rude, assholish way of asking for help because she has Plans. Reluctantly takes his hand in both of hers and tries to heeeeaaaaave him to his feet. HE'S HEAVY.]

[uses the momentum of her pulling to help himself up, holding onto her firmly as he does, using her for support because his legs feel like jelly. Just gonna

reach into her pocket and take that brandy, he NEVER SAID HE DIDN'T WANT IT. He's too winded to speak so he just grunts in agreement and off they go wobbling towards her company. Has no idea what he's getting himself into because he's sexist and thinks she's being so tolerant because she's acting like a proper lady. Also doesn't think she has anything more than maybe a couple of hand maids and a few weakling old men and young boys who do the miscellaneous labor. After all, she was just a lady having a picnic, so no way she can have her men with her, right? Right!

He's going to be in for a long, long, long, long, long, long ride]

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part 353 whalers on the moon

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