aphanon_meme | part 353 whalers on the moon

You need me to draw you a map?

[WHINY GROAN both at you not falling for her ploy and threatening to tell their sisters. That is low and this is why they still have trust issues between them ~~never mind swiping your card in the first place contributes to that too, it was totally in the spirit of fun!~~]

WEEEEEEESSSTTTTTTTT WHAT THE HELL!? You unfun stubborn brat, what's with threatening to get them involved!?!

Keh, yeah they're children and you won't let me put them in time out in the vacuum bags anymore. [which she totally did to that one but shhhh] Are you suggesting I spank them now? See, stubborn!!

More like, I need you to draw him a map. Did you not bring him along? [mutter mutter mutter. She is having the hardest time not to roll her eyes at you right now]

You stole my credit card!! That is OUTRIGHT thievery, Schwester!! No matter the cause!! You are fortunate I didn't go straight to them immediately after discovering what you had done! [SHE IS ONLY THREATENING YOU TO KEEP YOUR SPENDING IN CHECK, MISS EASY WITH THE EUROS]

And absolutely not! That is abusive! You need to reinforce their good behavior and ignore the bad! I gave you several books on positive parenting to read, you should study them! It'll benefit you with your little self and the eyes.gif!

...I am here, you know.

[You know just in case you all totally missed him sitting over here reading a book in his Summer Wear (read: coat off and sleeves rolled up)]

OH!! [RECOCILS WITH A STARTLED LITTLE GASP SHRIEK]

M-Mister Austria?!! [OH MY GOD YOU HEARD HER THROW YOU SOME SHADE HOW EMBARASSING. BEET RED. BEET RED AND FLUSTERED ALREADY, SITTING UP PROPERLY.]

My apologies, I did not see you there! [WHICH IS CONFUSING HER, HOW DID YOU GET PAST HER NOTICE, WHERE YOU HIDING UNDER THE SHEETS JESUS CHRIST. heart POUNDING that WAS THE WORST FRIGHT IN HER LIFE]

[wow, relax]

Are you feeling alright? You look... [no, no, he shouldn't comment on a lady's appearance, even if she is turning maroon and sweaty.] Ah, forgive me; ought I have introduced myself sooner? I thought I would leave you undisturbed. Which I do appear to have managed.

[unmistakeable passive aggressive 'why am I invisible to you' tone, but peering over his glasses at you in interest]

[SHE HASN'T HAD TIME TO PREPARED, SHE DIDNT EVEN BRING HER NOTES WITH HER. OH SHE IS TERRIBLY THROWN AND DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HERSELF. But aside from her burning face and sweaty temple, she is recovering from the shock, and sitting up soldier straight and stiff and sitting stock still like a statue and giving him the most intense stare. She doesn't intend to glare so much, she is just so nervous and UNPREPARED, she's defaulting into business mode]

I-I am well, it is only very hot tonight. [stiff robot voice]

You've only surprised me, you should have introduced yourself, it is only the right thing to do as it is quite dark in here and you are very small, but I did intrude quite suddenly, and for that I also apologize. I-I wasn't aware my sister was sharing her tent... [THAT SMALL COMMENT JUST SLIPPED OUT She's not even aware she said it]

Edited 2014-06-09 23:07 (UTC)

[she's even funnier than Ludwig. Totally straight unperturbed expression in the face of her OBVIOUS DISCOMFORT.]

Indeed?

[She rambles a lot, doesn't sh- hey]

That hardly matters, she also appears to be unaware. [Despite the fact that he somehow travelled here, bringing his typically huge amount of home comforts] I shall sit in the light in future so as not to escape notice, though I can do nothing about my stature, unfortunately.

[Except stand up, adjusting shirt sleeves casually before extending a hand]

Very well, then- I am Roderich, and I am... [what's she told you] ...sharing your sister's tent?

[We can't all be professionals, Roderich.]

Indeed. [Disregard it's actually a pleasant and cool night]

Schwester was distracted with speaking to me, please forgive her. [Being polite and all formal. Narrowing her eyes at that though. Is he some pervert that just snuck in then, how do these things happen in a tiny tent]

That would be for the best, you wouldn't want to be forgotten and left behind here, I heard someone was kicked by a wild deer or horse just yesterday. Ah-- [just gonna flush even more so at that and distressingly run a hand through her hair. DID SHE SAY THAT... Whoopsies. He'll understand why in a second. Gets to her feet with him and...immediately out heights him. Welp. She lacks a few inches on Ludwig but she is just as tall and leggy as he is. AND IT IS REALLY AWKWARD WITH MEN WHEN SHE IS TALLER THAN THEM but what can she do...

takes that hand with her sweaty palms, and gives him a perfectly diplomatic handshake]

And more, I hear. I am Monika. It is a plea...sure...to make your acquaintance. [ignore the weird way she just said pleasure because she started to say it, realized the unfortunate word choice half way through, yet couldn't stop herself and had to commit to saying it ]

[Professional what? Conversationalists? Human(ish) beings???]

No, no. I have been quiet this evening, it is to be expected. [Look the campsite is right here in front of everyone, don't act like it's some secret distant spot, okay.] However, I do not intend to be invisible for the duration- a horse? Goodness.

[Not a flicker in his expression as she gets up and reveals herself to be Amazonian, it's to be expected, of course. He's not especially concerned with height and whatnot when his female partners are generally capable of lifting him over one shoulder. You people and your quaint ideas of masculinity. She makes Julchen look like a miniature poodle, though]

...Yes. [Shake shakes politely, ever so subtly pulling a handkerchief out after he lets go, she is clammy. Deciding to just nod along rather than scold her for talking about private things. What is wrong with saying pleasure, strange one] Likewise. May I ask what Julia has told you about me?

[Professional humanish people]

You should have spoken up, we were speaking very rudely....Though you needn't worry about being invisible, if you are anything like my Austria, you are hard to ignore when speaking. [Is that blunt to say? She is messing up with all the Austrias everywhere, why does she even try. YES BUT USUALLY PEOPLE COME HERE IN PACKS not just alone and showing up uninvited hours late and then parking themselves quietly next to people, weirdo.

But yes. AWKWARDLY extending that handshake a beat too long before letting go, that handkerchief does not pass her notice and she discretely wipes her hands off on her unattractive mom cargo shorts that Lottie would probably bristle at the sight of them. Ahem. Trying not to look down on him too much so instead she just takes a moment to recollect her headphones and return them around her neck]

She has told me you two engage in unprotected sexual activity. I had wanted you to read a pamphlet to explain the dangers of doing so, but I'm afraid you've caught me unprepared. Another time, perhaps? [SO MATTER OF FACT it's painful, That's really all she's been told about him, or rather, it's all she had a chance to ask.]

You were. [Sounds an odd mix of resigned, disapproving and amused. Oh and she's still speaking rudely. Not sure what to say to that...he will...take it as a compliment? AND HE'S BEEN HERE THIS WHOLE TIME, UNOBSERVANT.] I should think I am quite like her, yes. And I hope not to be ignored.

[he will be kind enough to mind his own business regarding her clothing. For now. While she's doing an awkward fidgety dance he'll just blithely stare straight at her because he is undaunted. God she looks even younger than her male counterpart]

Hm?

[wh at?

wh

silently remains blank and politely confused because that was so insanely inappropriate it could not possibly have actually happened

and yet

what????????????]

I. Beg your...pardon?

[SLIGHTLY CHOKED VOICE, THIS IS A SHOCKING SWERVE IN THE CONVERSATION. Why would he need a pamphlet about that he iS 1000 YEARS OLD SHE IS A CHILD WHY IS SHE TALKING TO HIM ABOUT THIS. THIS IS SICK AND WRONG]

I hope we have your understanding, we meant it...fondly. And I assure you that you have my full attention... [Being that you are so tiny and in front of her. Choosing her words oh so carefully. STOP LOOKING AT HER SO MUCH, she's feeling really uncomfortable in her little tanktop that is just announcing how large her breasts are. She doesn't look younger, she only looks her age. The haircut she has is rather fresh on her.

BUT OKAY SHE'S STARTING TO GET A HINT THAT MAYBE THAT SHE JUST WENT THE WRONG DIRECTION WITH THIS. DAMN DAMN DONT FREAK OUT ON HER]

A-Ah!! Please, You shouldn't be embarrassed, it is only normal for adults of your era to be unaware of modern concerns! You matured during a time wholly ignorant to hygiene and health, after all! [She has been talking to France. Is it obvious she has been talking to France who has filled her virginal little head up with horror stories and made it seem like Austria's spent the last 200 years of medical advancement frozen in ice or some shit while making Prussia's out to be poor naive little lambs up for sexual slaughter.]

[She makes Julchen look like a miniature poodle in many ways but that is okay, he is not picky aND HE IS LOOKING AT HER FACE ONLY. Her youthful face with those big blue eyes that know nothing of the world. SHE DOES SO LOOK YOUNGER, LOOK AT HER. That backswept hair adds twenty years to Ludwig]

My- my era?! [FRANCE IS EVEN OLDER AND MORE SYPHILITIC THAN ALL THE REST OF THEM COMBINED] You- what on earth-

[okay this neutral politeness clearly was the wrong path to take with someone who in the end, is Germany through and through. GATHERS HIMSELF]

Young lady, are you aware of whom you are addressing?! This is entirely inappropriate! Have you been reading strange books again?! ...Is this that French weasel's doing? [SLIGHTLY FORGETTING THAT SHE IS SHE AND NOT HE RIGHT NOW. Could she have made it any more clear that she is but a baby nation and has no experience to boot] Furthermore, please refrain from implying that I have no sense of responsibility! We are adults of the same era, after all. [AKA MUCH OLDER THAN YOU AND KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. MOSTLY.]

[SURE HE IS. SURE. AND LUDWIG Looks like an old man, but if you ruffled up his hair some, they'd be twins. BUT WHOAH At the sudden collapse of the formality they had, that "young lady" there makes her recoil from him a bit, AUGH gross, she doesn't like to be called that. Oh my god, DISTRESS. WHAT DOES SHE DO, LOOKING AROUND FOR HER SISTER OR MEANS TO ESCAPE THIS TRAIN WRECK OF INTERACTION.But nope, no good. Austrias are Austrias, and you can't just cut off an Austria, no matter what Julchen says, she wouldn't dare put on her headphones over Lottie speaking, let alone this Austria she's just met.]

I-I'm well aware, I apologize if I was out of line, but I am just informing you of the--ah--N-No. [yes but not quite those sort of books. Mainly books on the horrors of the syphilis epidemic]

I--[BINGO. Welp, she's just gonna do that thing she does when others are scolding her and fold her arms so that she is holding onto her elbow as one hand is anxiously toying with her lip. WHAT DOES SHE DO?? HOW DOES SHE FIX THIS SPOUTING ANGRY AND TINY LITTLE MAN. J-Just lets him blow off steam before trying to speak?]

...France is not a weasel, Roderich, she is well versed in this area and I value her advice! We are only concern--[GOD, clamming up wisely at that futhermore. There are 10000 things she wants to say, but all of them SUGGEST THEY ARE IRRESPONSIBLE, don't they. Take the silence to realize that if France knows, all of Europe knows now.]

...I-I'm sorry if I was intrusive, it's just that my sister is important to me, I was only worried and you did ask what we had spoken about...

[HE IS, SHE IS YOUNG ENOUGH TO BE HIS KID OR SOMETHING, THAT WOULD BE CREEPY AND WEIRD, MUCH LIKE HER TALKING ABOUT HIS SEX LIFE. And too bad because she is a young lady aND HE IS NOT THAT TINY, GOOD GOD.

Just rants away until he has to pause for breath and take in what she's saying.

Hmph. Okay, she is slightly more...apologetic...than he was expecting. HmmMHHPPH.]

Well versed, indeed...tch. [There is a LOT he could say about that but he will let that speak for itself.] I have known him- her- him- for much longer than you have, and frankly I am insulted that she- he- has anything to say on the matter, which is doubtless insulting and nonsensical-

[HUFFS. No, it's pointless trying to drive home how ridiculously unhelpful France is. And wait a minute- ]

In any case, why does he- she even have any involvement in this?! I do not appreciate having my personal matters discussed without my leave. S-Such detail- I cannot fathom why Julia would have told you such things in the first place- ! [Then again...women do that, or at least he assumes so...and that comment about being worried, ugggghhhh...] Hmph- whatever you discuss with her, I would prefer to be left out the conversation.

[...ugh]

Your concern is- [based on utter misinformation, but he's not explaining nation babymaking to her] -understandable, but needless. I assure you. May we please drop this subject? It is very vulgar.

[SHE IS A GROWN WOMAN, IT IS NOT THAT WEIRD! HE DID IT WITH LUDWIG!METHINKS HE IS JUST BEING SEXIST AND BABYING BECAUSE SHE IS FEMALE AND THE ONLY FEMALE HE KNOWS WELL BESIDES HUNGARY, IS LIECHTENSTEIN WHO IS A CHILD and thAT IS UNFAIR. She'd argue more with Lottie but she just met him and her older sister is scary when angry and happens to have her credit card hostage]

...Well, Not quite. [just gonna timidly edge in here.]

You don't know her at all, and she is likely to be very different from the France you are familiar with. You shouldn't assume about her... [Trailing off because she knows she is being weirdly defensive of France. Probably because that is her business buddy for years now, but lately, everyone is dogging on France, even her Boss, and the tension between them makes her nervous because she wants things to work out for the sake of the EU. She doesn't realize she is still naive enough to fall for France's charm and lies because France is Competent at work and her beacon of sanity where there is so little to be had. She'll be totally disillusioned later, BUT NOT YET. NOT YET.]

The point is, she isn't as bad as she seems! You may have known her longer, but I know her well myself.[Not as well as she thinks but sshuuuushh. Stands up a little straighter but she needs to defend herself just a little here too.]

Either way, I'll remind you that I am not a child and I have lived a life long enough to understand France entirely. We have been enemies as much as we have been friends, and even so, I believe you and my sister have your prejudices against her! [twiddles her thumbssssss]

Ah...T-The subject came up over dinner and she only wanted to offer her assistance! B-But I apologize, it wasn't my place... [Read: France sniffed something was up and got her drunk and milked everything out of her as usual. DEEP INHALE AND EXHALE, she doesn't know what else to say so that call for the conversation to end IS A BIG RELIEF]

V-Very well. You have my apologies. I trust we can keep this...discussion...between the two of us? [please don't get her in hot water with her older sister and lottie, thanks]

[hUSH YOU THAT IS NOT THE CASE, HE IS BEING RESPECTFUL. Hush. He knows plenty of women, don't saddle him with the same problems the rest of this family has

...

Sighs loudly and irritably and dismissively because my god, she's too naive to function. He has in fact met female France and he kNOWS ENOUGH, THANKS. As for Francis, he will never recover from what he has seen, heard and contracted from him over the years. ENOUGH]

Forgive me, but I will maintain my position on Frankreich. [just a pitying tone and look because she's beyond help and so young and optimistic and not his responsibility, Lottie and Julchen can field this one.] And certainly not. I must inform Julia that I have made your acquaintance properly. However, I will accept your apologies. Think no more of it. Please.

[You see, Monika is not the only one trying to make Julchen happy by meeting and greeting, and he's not making any promises to keep this from her because frankly he needs her to control her little sister's wild imagination and give her The Talk or something. Not to mention warn Lottie that her use or lack thereof of contraception may be under scrutiny]

[CONTRACTED. THIS IS WHAT SHE MEANS ABOUT PROTECTION.

THOSE IRRITATED AND DISMISSIVE SIGHS PAIRED ON WITH THAT PITYING LOOK ANNOY HER and unlike Ludwig, she is a woman, and women make these things known with intense downward eyebrow movements and ~~pouts~~ frowns. The refusal to keep this unfortunate discussion between them is just so UNNECESSARY and there's a resigned shake of her head as she pulls her headphones over her ears just as he says that please. A flick of a button on the wire and instantly he can hear her music drowning him out. She can be dismissive too.]

I'll do so gladly, Thank you for your patience. Goodnight, then. Find your way to my sister safely, and please tell her I am returning home. [Crisp voice though she's being polite. And off she goes. VACATION TIME conveniently gonna end early. Maybe she'll beeline to Lottie's house and make nice with her...if she'll even open the door for her. She really needs to stop putting aside these social niceties so long]

[THIS WAS BEFORE PROTECTION, CHILD.

Yes, yes, pout and frown away, that is not exclusive to women, thank you. He's doing exactly that as she so rudely cuts him off and honestly, makes herself look even more like a gosh darned disrespectful youngin. At least she is musically inclined?

BUT. On the other hand, this means this excruciating conversation is over and she and her aTTITUDE are leaving and he can breathe easy and recover]

I will...goodnight, madam.

[Watches her go, irritation giving way to bemusement because as much as he usually hesitates to say such simple-minded things, these women are complicated. God. Going to sink back into his chair with a glass of wine and then commiserate with Julchen and her teeny bikini when he can]

Of course not, not only would the idiot get lost even if I managed to convince him to come by some miracle, but lake-side camping is literally everything he hates all rolled up into one! Think Lieselotte but less...sturdy. [and yes that was the most positive way she could think to phrase it.]

It's not thievery if I intend to give it back!! [LISTEN SHE'S ALREADY TAKEN 2TRL EUROS FROM YOU OVER THE LAST 25 YEARS, WHAT'S A FEW HUNDRED MORE!?]

Oh my god, I don't need books on positive parenting. [ACTUALLY ROLLS HER EYES AT YOU but not before giving you a Look. Really Germany, don't try to teach the person who raised you how to raise kids. And for that matter not every kid is you, certainly not Teuton or the eyes.gif.]

Edited 2014-06-09 22:51 (UTC)

Less sturdy? Is he very thin? [she's slightly curious about this mysterious man]

Your own credit score says otherwise, I advise you to spend responsibility, Schwester!! Hessen is very sweet and you may take advantage of her all you'd like, but she is very strict with fiances and you will find yourself in more difficulties than I can save you from! [DARE YOU TO ASK HESSEN THAT QUESTION IF YOU SO DESIRE A RESPONSE. But she's gonna hesitate a bit at that eyeroll and look. ]

I am not giving you those books to criticize you, Schwester, it is only good to know Modern techniques, like--[Trails off, her eyes wandering off you to the rest of your tent..just in time for Roddyboy over there to make himself known and make HER JUMP OUT OF HER SKIN ]

A-Ah, Schwester, er...[just gonna point to your twink of a boytoy lounging in the tent shadows now for you to see and cover her face]

Edited 2014-06-09 22:52 (UTC)

No, like, less.... [waves her arms for lack of a word to say, it's not easy to sum up the personality differences between Lieselotte and Roderich!]

Huh? [Oh. So he is here. OH SHIT- ]

Well, uh, look at that. Weird how shit works out sometimes, well I'm gonna go- uh, find that eyes.gif and apologize. Yeah, so, BYEWESTI'llputyourcardbackinthemorningseeyou- !!!!

[and OFF SHE DASHES BEFORE SHE'S SEEN. Good luck!]

SCH-SCHWESTER!!! [SHE WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU]

part 353 whalers on the moon

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