part 359 survival horror tropes

[aphanon_meme]

Hello again meme! Can you believe all these new updates? I love it! I hope we see more historical stuff, though and not just emperors. Also more of that Denmark, whatta guy.

Enjoy part 359!

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Comments

[bikesanddikes]

[Just don't be Spain or like Spain and he'll probably be alright.]

[Snorts.] Nothing that useful.

God damn it. [A needle is not enough to cut his hair. Curse his luscious locks.]

Forget it then. [Grabs the trolley, wincing as he disentangles his hair from the gears.]

[fraustria]

[She's about the furthest thing there is from Spain. But strangely infuriating all the same]

I suppose we could truly 'go native' and sharpen a stick...

[FINE, she'll keep her useless needle. Watching with mild interest as he struggles his way out]

Do try not to scalp yourself. To the left, I think. Wiggle it around to the left. Yes, just there- no, no, you are getting more stuck.

[Backseat untangler, not lifting a finger to help]

[bikesanddikes]

How are you gonna sharpen a stick without anything sharp? You don't exactly look like the wilderness survival type, lady.

[Closes one eye and goes in 100% concentration mode as he peers in the trolley and its gears. Hold up, he spies something.]

"Made in Spain."

You're fucking kidding me.





[Punches the damn thing.]

Yeah, yeah, I got it!

[fraustria]

Ah...that is a good question. [Ponders it.] And of course I do not. How absurd.

[Drumming her fingers watching, you are taking such a very long time.]

And Spanish engineering somehow makes the situation worse...? Oh- [Wow, don't break your knuckles and make yourself more useless!] Have you? Are you certain you do not need a hand?

[bikesanddikes]

[Time be damned, he'll take an hour to untangle his hair if he thinks he can get it out unscathed. Not that he thinks he can at the moment.]

[Just being from Spain makes the situation worse for him.]

[Well. He. He did get two single hairs loose.]


I'm not sayin' I ain't open to ideas here.

[fraustria]

[By all means, stand there trapped for hours and get picked off by someone with a working weapon]

... [Sigh]

Very well, let me see. What we require is lubricant.

[Looking around at their surroundings...what do they have available...]

Tree sap, perhaps? [Things Not to Put in Your Hair]

[bikesanddikes]

[He's not gonna stand there multiple hours. He's not that vain about his hair.]

[He's just gonna stand there one hour.]

[Besides, they're nations. Even if they die they'll come back eventually right? He wants to come back with his fabulous hair.]

Yeah, trust me. That sticky shit's terrible lube.

[Thinks.]

I'll just use my spit.

[Which works better as lube. In his experience.]

[fraustria]

[Oh, so he has his vanity down to an exact science. Hair grows back!!]

I suppose it must be. What else, the- [...squints.

Not going to ask.]

That is disgusting. I am certainly not touching your hair if it is covered in saliva.

[Listen, lots of things work better as lube than tree sap, but you wouldn't want any of those in your hair, either]

Do you have any water? Perhaps wet hair will be easier to manipulate. [Or perhaps it will be even worse. We shall see]

[bikesanddikes]

[Yeah but so does his body.]

I'm not gonna waste water when spit'll work the same.

[But she brings up a good point.]

Can you even reach my hair at all?

[Because he's, uh... very tall. And standing at the edge of the tower, so she has to be careful.]

[fraustria]

And how do you propose to produce enough spit, hmm? The very thought is appalling. And of course I...

[...Hey...

Approaches him...looks aaaaaall the way up at him then allllll the way down that horrible drop]

I see. This is certainly a problem. [...] May I suggest a long sharp stick?

[bikesanddikes]

[Gives her a cheeky grin.] With patience.

[Stands up on his tiptoes to peer into the trolley and see how his hair's tangled around the gears.]

That's not gonna help.

[Continues tugging on his hair again, freeing a third hair.]

[fraustria]

[Don't grin at her when you're talking about that kind of thing]

Hmph. Patience, indeed.

[She's going to need a lot of it if he insists on freeing himself hair by hair. Fine, she gives up, she'll let him do it himself, returning to her rock. Growing uninterested in his progress after a while, and poking through her bag...hmmm...]

Excuse me. [What even is his name, he looks sort of related to her, but she has no idea] Could you just hold on very tightly to something? My apologies.

[Let's try firing a moderately sized pebble at his head with her slingshot, THAT WILL SURELY KNOCK HIM RIGHT OUT OF HIS PREDICAMENT]

[bikesanddikes]

[Keeps pulling at his hair, freeing another strand.]

The fuck am I supposed to hold?

Don't! Shit!

[Holds up his hands as a shield.] Lady, sto-

[Choking sounds.]

[Good god you hit it right in his mouth.]

[fraustria]

[BULLSEYE

or

not, as the case may be]

Good grief, how tightly are you wedged in there? How did you manage it?

[Oh, right, he's choking. Comes over to, ah. Gingerly thump him in the back. God, this place is really precarious]

[bikesanddikes]

[Coughs something that sounds like "I didn't fucking do anything!"]

[Without his trusty hair gel, he... he may have become desperate enough to put "all natural" hair gel in his hair. Which has made his current predicament worse.]

[He appreciates the thought behind the thump on his back. And it dislodges the pebble from his throat. But she thumps him while he's on the edge of the platform, peering at the trolley on his tiptoes.]

[Frantically reaches out for something, anything to grab hold of and keep himself from falling.]



[But it's useless. The thump has unbalanced him enough to make him fall.]

Fucking! [By that he means the swear word. Not your village.]

[So in the end he's scalped himself after all. And the last thing he sees is his beautiful hair stuck in the trolley's gears before he falls to his death.]

[fraustria]

[ALL NATURAL HAIR GEL???]

N-Now- don't move- AH-

[She has utterly misjudged this action, this rickety looking thing is wobbling under them and in a flash, she realises he's falling, instinctively reaches for his arm-

and gets GRABBED]

N-No!

[LEAVE HER VILLAGE OUT OF IT. YOUR ALL NATURAL HAIR GEL IS OBVIOUSLY NOT ENOUGH TO HOLD THEM BOTH

OVER SHE GOES WITH YOU

There's a resounding sssSCCCREEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMM all the way down, then, silence, and the curtain falls.]