Honestly this starts to remind me of those posts you see on tumblr sometimes about "if your partner/friend does so and so it's abuse/etc" and some of that is definitely valid, but some of it definitely edges into the perhaps it's just a misunderstanding territory.

If somebody mis-remembers something it could just be bad memory on their part. If someone doesn't reply to your text straight away they might be busy. People say snappy things from time to time if they're tired or stressed, without intending real hurt. Sure there are awful people out there, but I think some degree of Occam's razor applies to relationships too. A lot of the time other people can make mistakes and not mean ill or be evil abusers who are willfully manipulating you or whatever.

It definitely comes back to the unhealthy romanticization of unnatural perfection in a relationship. People are not going to be perfect, sometimes they can be a bit selfish, stressed or wrong, and just because someone might fuck up it doesn't make them an abusive person.

(The key difference is being able to talk about misunderstandings afterwards, and apologizing if feelings were hurt regardless of intentions.)