part 369 prohibition cocktails

[aphanon_meme]

Meme, you did it! And on Christmas, too!! How fancy. How was your year? It's almost the new year and I don't know about anyone else, but I'm excited to enter the 20s. We can finally bring back some excellent slang, like "That sounds berries to me!" or "I guess I'd describe myself as a cancelled stamp." Have a good year... and don't take any wooden nickels!

Enjoy part 369!

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Comments

Re: itt: books

[(Anonymous)]

oh!! if that person I was talking to before about Alison Weir is still around, I finished Princess in the Portrait last weekend.

So.

It wasn't AS BAD as I feared, at the same time, the more I think about the book the more disappointed I am with it... .but not for the reason that I originally thought I would be. If that makes sense?

(spoilery spoilers for how she handles this)




Guess!! who got!! to go into the damn light when she died! If you guessed Anna of Kleves, you are right.

But let me backtrack.

So she never outright stated that Henry disapproved of Anne because he thought she wasn't a virgin due to saggy breasts or loose stomach or whatnot, but it was definitely hinted at multiple times and Weir made it a point to have the Kleves ambassador repeatedly be like... MA'AM THERE ARE RUMORS AT COURT ABOUT YOU, and they had like 3-4 instances where Henry would glance at Anne's chest and then be like :\/// basically, but Weir describing it better than :\/// obviously.

Oh and on their wedding night, Henry is all hot and bothered and ready to FUUUUUCK, then he starts rubbing Anna's stomach and... stops, perturbed. Weir throws a bone(r) that it's because Henry's wound makes him lose his boner a lot, so oh maybe the idea that he knows is a 'red herring'? But later on in the book Anna basically guesses herself, based on Henry boasting about being lusty with Katherine Howard and rumors she may be pregnant, that it was Anne being displeasing and not Henry's limp codfish to blame.

Truthfully, her theory bothered me less than I thought it would. Because Weir doesn't do a terrible job of presenting her "what if" case in her notes, saying that she based it on conjecture from ambassadors and from some wording Henry had regarding what he wouldn't say due to the "honor of the lady." (Though that could easily be used to imply a different argument-he refused to go into detail because Anne of Kleves was royalty in her own right, and to go into detail regarding their sexual life would disgrace her honor. It doesn't have t mean "oh I thought she wasn't a virgin.")

Anywho. What ended up bothering me wasn't the theory itself, but Weir's extension of the "hm maybe she had sex and got pregnant and SOMEHOW her entire body was ruined because of it" into the cousin character.

Weir decided to have the cousin who tricked 13 year old Anne into having sex with him" come back in the second half of the book as a romantic interest, and basically the entire emotional and narrative arc of Anne was related to this fictional dude and her fictional son (whom she had her fictional love interest bring from Kleves years later) and honestly the more I think about it, the more ????? I get.

I understand that there isn't a lot to go on with Anne, but Weir basically decided to make Anne's sole goal in life related to these fictional characters and... it's hard to really care? Like the ending of the book (I will type it up eventually because now I want a record of how she writes each death, tbh) is her giving a deathbed confession and the son is like ;__; oh I always knew, somehow!! oh mother!! I forgive you!! and then as she's dying she sees her fictional love interest in the light and oh all is happiness etc etc. Again: she sees... this fictional love interest that Weir made Anne truly deeply madly in love with. She doesn't see... say, own mother, whom she mourned, or her sister who died, but y'know. The fictionalized love interest. Who was so bland and so perfect and so boring.

And like I said, I get it! There's not a lot to go on. And Weir doesn't want Anne's book to be so short compared to the others. But why not do something, ANYTHING, else with her life? Weir spent so, so long on Anne and her fictional love interest and Anne being afraid the king would find out that there was so little to Anne's character. She drops bits here and there, Anne's religious thoughts, her pride, her desire for independence from her brother and how much she enjoys being a woman of means. But it's all surface, and it always comes back to Lover Cousin instead.

I want to pick up some other Kleves books to see what they make of things.

The Katherine Howard book comes out soon... will Weir extend her fascination with decapitation and condemning Anne to utter misery to Katherine, or just make Anne the sole person who doesn't get to see the light?

Re: itt: books

[(Anonymous)]

hi there!

they had like 3-4 instances where Henry would glance at Anne's chest and then be like :\///

this is so awful but i laughed. tudor history in kaomojis is something i didn't know i needed!

But later on in the book Anna basically guesses herself, based on Henry boasting about being lusty with Katherine Howard and rumors she may be pregnant, that it was Anne being displeasing and not Henry's limp codfish to blame. JUST in case you didn't get the hint that henry's ultra-discerning tastes were able to spot, and be so turned off by a way-post-pregnancy body..! poor anne. while it's open to interpretation, that makes it just as likely it could've been henry demuring for her royal respect's sake.

i agree with you that it takes all the connection out of her later life moments in book, to spend them on a fictional relationship. i get having a little bit of that if she wanted, but it shouldn't have been as heavily focused on, in that case. it takes away from her last moments to spend them on entertaining these fake emotional scenes.

alison weir be like: all the catherines, you get to go into the light! anne of cleves? light for you, anne coco, you go anne coco! annnd none for anne boleyn, bye

Re: itt: books

[(Anonymous)]

hi hi!

JUST in case you didn't get the hint that henry's ultra-discerning tastes were able to spot, and be so turned off by a way-post-pregnancy bod

EXACTLY, the implication that her 20-something self body was SOOOO ruined because she had a pregnancy at 13-14 is like... jfc, Weir.

It was really disappointing. The more I think about it, the more frustrating it is. There were many ways Weir could have woven in the fictional pregnancy and maa-a--aaybe even the love interest without making them Anne's sole care.

ad;sfsd;

oh Weir... guess we'll see in May. Or whenever I'm able to get a copy from the library!