aphanon_meme | part 353 whalers on the moon

part 353 whalers on the moon

We've been here over a year now! I can hardly believe it! Dreamwidth's been pretty good, I'd say, with almost no downtime to speak of and all that! Anyway... how is your spring going? Or I guess it's almost summer, isn't it? Hopefully it's been well! I've been catching up on work and new movies, all very exciting stuff, I'm sure.

Enjoy part 353!

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Note: All entries prior to Part 331 originated on Livejournal.

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how often do you start threads?

Sometimes, very often. When I am in a chatty mood and meme is quiet, these days, I have to rouse up activity myself (or at least try).

Other times, not at all. Sometimes it's hard to think of things, or nothing on meme is sparking my interest.

I do miss the old-old days when meme was hard to keep up with.

I lost my shit omg and fuck no NOT FRUIT SALAD that'll be stuck in my head all day

thank you anon, what a horrible requester I am to have neglected my baby

[He is peeling dogs off him by the scruff and tossing them, gently because he's not a brute, to the ground.]

Mother of God, train your damn mutts!! [By the time she has reached the table, he has claimed all the big courses of her lunch for himself, including an entire pie. As she tries to recover some, he's batting out at her, stealing apples and jams right out from her hand and depositing them out of reach in his lap.]

You're a damn liar!! No one is that stupid to be traveling alone to eat lunch! These weird metal things--the hell are they?! Weapons of some sort, hm?! Is this your military base?! Where the hell are your men?! A-And I'm not saying anything about your anything, I'm giving you an opportunity to come clean, you ungrateful weakling glutton!! [Talking with his mouth half full, slurping syrup and honey and sugary frosting and all sorts of stuff from his finger from what he's eating. Is she on a diabetes diet, jesus christ. This is all probably going to give him diarrhea from the shock]

what kind of stuff do you usually fap to

[They are persistent and particularly so when he has food in his hands]

They are trained. You clearly have not been. Will you take your hands off my things?!

[THERE'S FRUIT AND VEGETABLES AND MEAT, OKAY, it's not all cake and more importantly, she made a lot of this herself and it is heavenly and wasted on him. ANGRILY SITS OPPOSITE HIM WITH HER BASKET, PROTECTING THE REMAINS OF HER MEAL.]

And don't insult my intelligence! I am perfectly capable of travelling alone- this is a field, you imbecile. A garden. Don't you ever eat outside in fine weather? As for my attendants, they are here or there, somewhere. [Shrugs, whatever, so she wanders off sometimes.] ...And that is a butter knife.

Anything involving tickling gets me going.

[STUBBORNLY IGNORING THEM]

If you won't train them, I will!! NO!! [BANGING the entire wine bottle he stole against the table to startle her dogs so they keep a distance that is respectful. There. Sticking a tongue full of gross chewed food at her before rolling his eyes and continuing to eat whats in front of him like an unstoppable man vacuum. WHY DID SHE TUCK INTO THE PASTRY BEFORE SHE HAD HER GREENS, HMMM?!!]

If you want them off, take them off!! I told you before, you're indebted for me due to my suffering because of your sake! This is all my due!! [Takes the pie he's stolen AND LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKS IT LENGTH wise for emphasis on his ownership and lack of need of anything. He may be a soldier now, but he's still a starving little boy knight deep down and he has no table manners unless he has good scary reason to]

Keh, I'm not insulting your intelligence, you're already doing that just fine by yourself, Imbecile!! I could've stolen your horse just as easily as I've taken your food and maybe the merciless and unforgiving me still will just to teach you a damn lesson and stranding people in the wilderness!! [what was that about being capable of traveling alone, again? There's a jolt as that butter knife comment gives him pause IS SHE SUGGESTING HE WAS ASKING WHAT THE KNIFE WAS]

S-STUPID!! What sort of man do you take me to be!! Not THIS!! [THAT MAEKS HIM SO MAD, JUST FLINGS THE BUTTERKNIFE OFF THE TABLE TOWARDS THE CARS.]

THAT!! THE HELL IS THAT!!!

Edited 2014-06-08 23:25 (UTC)

churros/spain

[STUBBORNLY CHEWING HIS ANKLES. You think a bit of noise and an unwashed angry pig is going to deter them in pursuit of chicken legs, you are mistaken. They are as spoiled and entitled as their mistress]

I had nothing to do with your suffering, you relentless oaf! You- disgusting boar- ugh! [PHYSICALLY RECOILING. Vile.] H-How dare you- how dare you even suggest- Nannerl would sooner relieve you of your teeth than let you ride her-

[Utterly disoriented, alarmed and bothered by the MESS in front of her in all senses, clutching her basket and a passing pug like a shield, and jumping a foot when he throws that knife]

D-Don't- aah! [FEARFUL...and then annoyed] Those are silver! How was I to know what you meant when you act as though you have never used silverware in your life, you abominable cretin! What are you talking about now?!

[Cars?

.....................Oh. Oh okay no she doesn't know either, BUT she is not so stupid as he is, so she tosses her hair as if it's obvious]

Carriages, of course. Have you ever set foot in civilised society?

HEY ME....

[/LATE]

[NOMS YOUR CHEEK]

I could fap to most things as long as they are made to be some type of humiliation, tbh

I know there was a France/Gazebo fic where he actually fucked it.

Also one where France's dick was literally a rose and England gave him a... blow job? How does that even match, I'm not sure.

Heterosexual sex in the missionary position.

goddamnit tumblr dash recommendations how do you know so little about my tastes? why do you keep reccing all these artists in art styles i dislike?

i'm guessing they must generate this recs thing from 'blogs followed by blogs you follow' which might explain it but still. you've recced me the same blog at least four times now and i haven't clicked the link much less followed, can you not take a hint tumblrrrr

I love it toooo

It keeps reccing me ask blogs that I've had blocked with tumblr savior for ages. :|

I hate this bullshit on my daaaaaash

[A FLURRY OF COLORFUL CURSES. OH MY GOD THEY ARE LIKE FURRY INSECTS, OKAY FINE, tossing them some of the food he's taken a good distance AWAY FROM THE TABLE.]

You and your dogs need a good smack or three, none of you know how to act, tch! And like hell you didn't!! Lying is a damn sin, you know! Deny all you want, the heavens will pass their judgment on you and bring punishment down on you!! [Nyehyheynyeh, excuse him while he continues to liiiiiiiiiiick every piece of food he eats slowly and deliberately]

Nannerl will let me ride her just fine, she's an old, stupid slow mare just like her owner! I've ridden the crazed beasts my Hungary calls tame just fine, I can handle some old nanny horse!! If you don't want a lesson in walking, behave yourself and do as I say obediently as a little bird!! [And she wants him as a husband??? She's giving him an inch with her fluster and he's taking a mile, totally walking over her because she's too riled to take control of the situation.]

First off, apologize to me!! You're stuck-up, bourgeoisie, persistent, rude and damn annoying and everything out of your mouth, including that, offends me!! A hungry man like the starved me doesn't give a cold hell about utensils!! This is finger food!! Anyway, as a woman, you shouldn't criticize a sickly man!! AND WHO THE HELL CARES ABOUT SILVER!! Shut up and let me speak!! [SHE IS RICH ENOUGH TO BRING HER FINEST SILVER UTENSILS OUT TO PICNIC SHE CAN SPARE TO LOSE A FEW. oKAY now he's flushing a little because this next thing is embarrassing, BUT HE'S FEELING STRONG AND EMPOWERED, and stuttery with his voice cracking BUT STILL]

S-S-Secondly, verbally acknowledge o--our-- marriage proposal is null and void!! [said all rushed and quickly and then SUDDENLY SHOUTING Because he is not finished]

THIRDLY!! That is no damn carriage!!! They don't make them out of metal!! It's too damn heavy for the horses to pull!! What is it really?! Don't you dare lie to me!! You're rich enough to make a miracle happen, what the hell is it really?!

Just about anything if it's written well enough or contains my favorite characters.

This reminds me of when my friend said how she created a Paramore station on Pandora, yet it kept playing Fall Out Boy, even after thumbing down some Fall Out Boy songs. Meanwhile, it didn't play Paramore.

[And just like that they scamper away to eat it, BUT THEY WILL BE BACK SOON ENOUGH. SOON ENOUGH.]

Y-You- you-

[She wants to marry him, seize his assets and then lOCK HIM IN THE ATTIC FOREVER UNTIL HE WITHERS AWAY BECAUSE SHE HATES HIM. INTENSELY.

Listening to him piling insult after insult, making demands and otherwise being a BRUTE in the presence of a LADY who is worth a hundred of him, h o w d a r e h e. She is so flustered, but the more he talks the more his words blur into one big noise and the more furious she grows until she can take no more

sTANDS THE FUCK UP ANGRILY, BEARING DOWN ON HIM WITH HER TREMBLING DECOLLETAGE]

Stop shouting! And I neither know nor care what they are, if you care so much, go and investigate yourself! But firstly-

[SLAMS HER HANDS DOWN ON THE TABLE]

Shut your vulgar, uneducated mouth for once and let me speak! I won't apologise for anything to a waste of space like you, you are the cause of all your own troubles and mine besides! And you can leave my pets, possessions and person out of it! You are a despicable, dishonourable savage and you have no table manners!

[taKES A BREATH. CONTINUES, HEFTING A LARGE APPLE LIKE SHE'S GOING TO THROW IT POINT BLANK AT HIS HEAD]

And I will not be made a fool of now! As loathsome as you are, I utterly refuse to acknowledge any reneging on our engagement! Refuse! You will be held responsible for every insult you have done me, is that clear?! [Held responsible by being IMPRISONED IN MARRIAGE. This is no longer opportunism, but revenge.

And to drive the point home, have a battalion of small furry soldiers returning from their meal to launch themselves at him]

It keeps suggesting that I follow:

- Andrew Hussie
- Dante Basco
- John Green
- Neil Gaiman

I didn't ask for this. Especially John Green.

XKit offers an extension that blocks blog recs. I think it's called "No Recommended".

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part 353 whalers on the moon

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ooc god damn I should log back into my regular account but I'm LAZY

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