aphanon_meme | part 353 whalers on the moon

part 353 whalers on the moon

We've been here over a year now! I can hardly believe it! Dreamwidth's been pretty good, I'd say, with almost no downtime to speak of and all that! Anyway... how is your spring going? Or I guess it's almost summer, isn't it? Hopefully it's been well! I've been catching up on work and new movies, all very exciting stuff, I'm sure.

Enjoy part 353!

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[it is not impossibly hard to whistle, you aged philistine

slowly turns around to watch this fascinating historical display]

Are you in need of assistance, Vater? [do you need to be directed back to your room and a sponge bath]

[wolf whistles!]

[glances around from his book...]

I assume that was in appreciation of Op. 73.

Appreciation of what?

[Ooh book? Yoink!]

What'cha reading?

The symphony in D major, you- mmph. [sigh]

The Prodromus Systematis Naturalis Regni Vegetabilis.

Volume four.

[ONLY IT TOTALLY IS UNLESS YOU HAVE LIKE AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA OF WHISTLERS

Yes, boy. Look at your daddy. He's standing in a pool of goat blood, wearing nothing but an itsy bitsy animal pelt that baaarely covers him at all as he stares intensely into the meme sky and calls on the combined strength of the Einherjar in Valhalla to carry him through in battles to come. Or at least he's trying to, but everyone in this place is determined to interrupt him.]

...

....

.....

.... [staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaares at for a while as if staring at you will give you the common sense to go away without pestering him, but you are dumb and roman influenced and giving him that judgy look you do, so fine, answers with a grunt in the negative.]

I am only in need of another goat. [expectant pause in his voice like he totally expects you to go get him another goat he can take down in the name of Odin.]

~Philistine~ right? You need to come up with better insults! Besides!! The sweet as a songbird me was "appreciating" how much fatter your ass has gotten since I last saw you!! Kesesesese!!

[flips through it...]

Plants? Boring!! Are you attempting gardening?

[he is an entire orchestra at once in many ways

jesus christ give him strength, you are an obscene and terrifying old man who is somehow in incredible shape, but he does not want to look at it, thank you. Why do you always have to make a Scene? Why don't you wear shoes? You're tracking blood everywhere

...

...

............speaks slowly as if to avoid setting off another round of OOOOODDDIIIIIIIIIINNN or whatever it is]

Do you intend to damage it?

My insults are good enough for you. Please stop trying to combine as many inappropriate comments as possible in your opening remarks. [turns towards fully so you'll stop STARING at his SAME SIZE AS EVER posterior]

Attempting? What does that mean? I am cultivating herbs.

[does every orifice of his body toot?

excuse him, but when he was alive you were often just as naked and had no issue. And because he likes to feel the lifeforce soak into his flesh, it makes him feel alive and one with the world and all that jazz. Besides, his boots are made of animal flesh and he'd rather not stain them]

[there is a blink at "Damage"]

[that's....kinda cute]

[delayed swallowed chuckle that manifest more as momentarily flared nostrils expelling air out in a slightly amused manner]

I do. [But IN A SWIFT AND MERCIFUL MANNER FOR A GOOD CAUSE. Damage makes it sound like you expect him to like strangle the goat or something, christ. like literally he raised you, what do you think he's going to do with a goat?]

[ATTENTION GET she wins, but for the record it was compliment she likes his ass, okay?]

Bleeh, is everyone on their man-period around here!? Tch! And yeah, attempting!! Because the cool me can't imagine the little master on his hands and knees in the dirt!

[Well. She can but it's usually not in so innocent a context...]

America still goes around whistling Johnny Appleseed.

...I thought I was logged in

[

no

WHEN YOU WERE ALIVE HE WAS A TODDLER. YOU LOOK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER.

what the hell was that nostril flare aRE YOU PREPARING TO CHARGE? HAS THE SIGHT OF ALL THIS RED BLOOD TURNED YOU INTO THE BULL YOU OBVIOUSLY ARE UNDER THAT HUMAN GUISE. Holds book up slightly protectively]

The animal rights people are going to be very annoyed about all this, I hope you realise. [IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. You might still be pre-historic but these days we don't go around BUTCHERING GOATS WILLY-NILLY. He was just hopeful that you have learned how to act which you evidently have not] Would you consider not damaging the goat? Could you simply spend time with the goat?

[Then why call it fat?!]

I am in a perfectly amiable mood. And I have always been a keen gardener. [kind of. Now and then. For an hour or so when the mood strikes ~~or when apparently employed to do so by the dictator that must not be named~~] In any case, this will be done in small pots. I believe that by cross-pollinating a variety of mint with a certain type of lemongrass, the resulting herb will produce a fine sorbet...

[...]

And what are you doing today?

[THIS SERIAL KILLER LOVED AND NURTURED YOU FOR AT LEAST HALF A CENTURY, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE TWINK. MAN UP!!]

[SILENCE because he doesn't have a clue what "animal rights" are, but it sounds like overeager kids who will fuss at him about his love of handling his own meat again]

I will cut a switch for them all. [shrugs. that's his answer to everything, it is a wonderful deterrent to any younguns trying to run his life. SILENCE AGAIN while he ponders over what the fuck are you even talking about? SPENDING TIME??? WITH ANIMALS??/ THAT AREN'T HORSES, COWS, DOGS OR CHILDREN??? no thanks]

I shall spend time killing it, and further time skinning it. [stepping closer, bloody hand extended for that book]

What do you make study of?

[All the better to grab it, my dear]

Says the guy who makes the help pick all your fruit trees!!

[YAWNS through all of that, here have your stupid book back she doesn't get it.]

The cute as a little bird me is out enjoying the sun!! And the heat!! And getting away from slimy little toads with dick envy!!

[YES AND LOOK HOW HE TURNED OUT.

No one would object to you handling your own meat if you did it like a farmer and not a dRUID]

Vater- I do not think you are comprehending- you cannot take a switch to an entire activist group- [you know it's him that's going to be in trouble for allowing this, HE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS WITH ALL THAT ZOO BUSINESS] -could you not eat it at a restaurant if that is what you intend? I- what?

[...TORN...this is an old and valuable book and you are dripping with entrails but how can he refuse you, you are frightening]

Botany...er- it is in Latin. [will that make you leave it alone]

[Not in public]

That is completely different.

[you are so rude. Takes it back and sits down, hmph]

I did not think toads would be particularly common in such dry weather. I have not seen any.

[and then the last part of that sentence reaches him]

I beg your pardon?

[FLOPS DRAMATICALLY NEXT TO YOU yes allow her to whine about her tragic life.]

You've seen this one!! He's a little under 6ft tall with old man hair and has the misfortune of sharing my name without any of my awesomeness!!!

[Aaaaand here comes the whiny half-truth making herself the victim part] Speeeeeecccsssss, he keeps bullying me!! The innocent as a baby dove me was humoring an anon and he got all defensive and starting sending me nasty abusive letters about his sex life and how great his dick is and how much bigger than yours it is!! And I even did the mature thing and didn't respond and he put it all onlineeeeeeee!! Heeeee's slandering meeee and now West, and all our brothers and sisters, and our boss, and the Americans spying on us are gonna see!!! It's not fairrrrrrr and- [and on and on and on she goes whining about the TRAGEDY of everything until you give her TLC]

Edited 2014-07-08 14:46 (UTC)

There have been a lot of good ones...but I think any of the tags where he meets someone for the first time. Especially America(s) because of the ease at which they show him how to properly navigate the meme/use a smart phone.

I think it's likely that he can whistle some simple tunes and melodies. But I must admit I like the idea that he couldn't whistle at all and needed someone to teach him so he could whistle Wind of Change.

[He places his order right after hers, paying for them both before showing her where they wait for their orders to come out.]

We get to choose our own table if we dine in but you can eat pizza while walking along the streets if you want. The Brooklyn Bridge Park isn't too far away if you want to take in a view of the East River.

http://i.imgur.com/f9oqNXd.png

I can't do this anymore, meme.
I can't FUCKING DO THIS ANYMORE
If the artist is really 14 I can cut them some slack, but all the slack I have ends at about the mouth on these faces, especially since just a year ago, they had faces with normal proportions. You can see how they started out on deviantart. But this is what tumblr's encouraging now. Mile-long faces. This is what will get you popular.

Why

Oh...him.

[Slowly turns to stare in the face of this impressively annoying tirade until it starts to blur into an EEEEHHHGGGGNNNNGGGHHHHHH sound with the occasional vulgar word

...

puts his hand over your mouth]

Excuse me. Did you say- [cough] -why was I mentioned in all this? [bigger???]

10000 comments

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Page 332 of 400

part 353 whalers on the moon

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