aphanon_meme (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aphanon_meme) wrote2014-06-06 02:26 pm
aphanon_meme) wrote2014-06-06 02:26 pm
part 353 whalers on the moon
We've been here over a year now! I can hardly believe it! Dreamwidth's been pretty good, I'd say, with almost no downtime to speak of and all that! Anyway... how is your spring going? Or I guess it's almost summer, isn't it? Hopefully it's been well! I've been catching up on work and new movies, all very exciting stuff, I'm sure.
Enjoy part 353!
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Enjoy part 353!
Latest Page
View flat!
*There is a rules page here. Please read it before reading and posting.
*There is a contact post here. Please use it for contacting me privately.
*There is a meme calender you can use for tracking and listing meme events!
*Dreamwidth, unfortunately, no longer supports any type of anonymous image posting.
*If you would like the Dreamwidth layout to look more like Livejournal's, you can use this workaround for your browser
Note: All entries prior to Part 331 originated on Livejournal.
Re: disturbs by
No one would object to you handling your own meat if you did it like a farmer and not a dRUID]
Vater- I do not think you are comprehending- you cannot take a switch to an entire activist group- [you know it's him that's going to be in trouble for allowing this, HE HAS HAD ENOUGH OF THIS WITH ALL THAT ZOO BUSINESS] -could you not eat it at a restaurant if that is what you intend? I- what?
[...TORN...this is an old and valuable book and you are dripping with entrails but how can he refuse you, you are frightening]
Botany...er- it is in Latin. [will that make you leave it alone]
Re: disturbs by
Nonsense. I've raised a horde of children. A group will fear me the same. [WELL DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IF YOU A RE SO BOTHERED]
What is a restaurant? A place for prayer? [he is a man who still eats with his raw hands and can tear the legs off a raw goat without a knife.. ARE YOU SURE ABOUT RESTAURANTS]
A worthy subject. [no, he READS AND SPEAKS LATIN FLUENTLY. HANDS OUT. But he won't take offense if you refuse so long as you decline RESPECTFULLY. He looks scarier than he actually is.]
You still recall these old letters? [good, that means he can prattle on and on super fast and nonstop to you about the importance of giving him a good, fat goat in a dead language]
Re: disturbs by
I have no doubt of that, but I believe it would cause a terrible scene. No, it is a- tavern- an...eating...house... [trails off...no...no, he is not at all sure about restaurants] Never mind. Er- would you mind wiping the...goat off your hands? Thank you.
[WAITS FOR YOU TO DO SO before handing it over...]
I do, though I must say I have little occasion to use- ...
[speechless. HE THOUGHT YOU SPOKE SCANDINAVIAN GIBBERISH. HE NEEDS A DICTIONARY AND A THOROUGH READ-THROUGH TO UNDERSTAND THIS BULLSHIT.
...
mental babelfish is getting 'namely, that it is the most naked, and of goats, with the serpent of lambs'. That cannot be correct]
I beg your pardon?
Re: disturbs by
...[nods. It would but he'd relish in it a little]
...
...
....I see. I wish to go. I shall give my host a gift of a flayed lamb in gratitude of their hospitality. [you're making it sound like a meat house and now he's curious. But okay, wipes his goat hands off on his RIPPED TORSO and animal pelt until he's decently clean and then takes the book. Flipping through it as he explains he needs a goat to appease the more mischievous Gods who are possessing Gilbert and the other young anons, leading them to lives without honor.
ONLY FOR YOU NOT TO UNDERSTAND]
...
...
...[REPEATS IT. Slower this time. He is a man of many tongues, most of them so old and archaic so for his useless kids, he just fucks it and speaks this weird mixed bag german that is always a little confused about whether it's high or low, middle or upper, old or new, etc or etc. He was never a nation, but like HRE a collection of identities. He represented tribes that sprawled over Europe, so he speaks a little bit of everything and life is hard]
Re: disturbs by
No- no, that- they would prefer your, er, currency. [...] I am certain Gilbert would enjoy taking you. Ah-
[Transfixed by your viscera-stained muscles as you make the most garbled, rumbling caveman sound, straining to understand
...
...r...ight...okay, he's got it]
You would like a goat...in order to- give it to Gilbert...because it is anonymous.
[absorbs this for a moment.]
And God told you to do this?
Re: disturbs by
...The trade here is poor, I have nothing to give but meat. And I believe it was you who extended the invitation, sapling, so it will be you who accompanies me. [sapling because you are all lithe and shit but scraaaaaaaaaaaaaawwnyy. And do remember this piece of eyecandy is your super old father and do keep your fantasies within acceptable limits]
...
..........
..............[Icon keywords and a long, disapproving silence. Closes the book all deliberately and hands it back to you]
Perhaps consider lighter study, son. [because that was disastrous]
I said there are mischievous Gods afoot leading Gilbert and the grey faced to folly. An offering will incline them to feast and distract them from their play.
Re: disturbs by
V-Vater, please refrain from taking raw meat into a restaurant, you will upset the chef- what?! [oh my god shut up. WHAT HAS HE DONE TO HIMSELF...UUGGHHH...FINE, but he's forcing Julchen to come too] Very well- but no meat, I insist, I will...pay... [sobbing inside]
Well- this is about plants, for goodness' sake, not goats. Hmph. [TAKES IT. Thank you for the bloody thumbprints.] ...Ah. You want to serve fresh goat to the gods. Yes. Indeed.
[god.]
And this will cure the place of stupidity. Of course.
Re: disturbs by
...Mhm. My thanks. You may take your pick of meat. [gestures to his fire a little ways away with various carcasses roasting over it. And yes bring your girlfriend in front of your terrifying silent and deadly father who will probably eat his weight in rare steak and break a dish or two before the evening ends and is immuned to scolding and direction]
Read of the Gods, child, of the heroes, I have tex--[pauses. It is never good when Germania pauses in mid-sentence. Pauses AT THAT DOUBTY MCDOUBTY RUDENESS, and pulls himself to his full height and gives you a sharp, withering look somehow more wild and bloodthirsty considering he has blood speared on his brow]
You dare mock me?
Re: disturbs by
Meat... [thousand yard stare towards the fire, wondering why you always have so much meat, who exactly eats it all, and if you have ever ingested a vegetable.] Thank you. Yes, Vater, I will attend a performance of Der Ring des Nibelungen, I think that will do-
[why have you stopped
oh my god no nO HE SPOKE WITHOUT THINKING YOU'RE SO TALL
stands his ground. SWEATS.]
I- [help.] I think it will take more than a single goat, that is my only concern. The people here are truly, truly unwise. [like him]
Re: disturbs by
THAT IS AN AWFUL save but he's letting it slide a bit because he's always been a little soft with you . Waggles a giant finger at like he is addressing a naughty four year old]
Your manner is what is unwise. Mind that serpent in your mouth, boy, do not forget yourself here. [He's old-time ignorant and he's not one of your siblings/cousins you can shit talk to. YOU HAVE SOME BALLS, SIR. SOME BALLS. You have angered him visibly and he is not satisfied why? Becuase he asked for another goat and YOU DISAGREED WITH HIM AND NOW YOU ARE BACK PEDALLING POORLY and there are consequences for that. Unpleasant ones.]
Which is precisely why I requested another goat to damage. [HE KNOWS YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT. He's ignorant but he is sharp as fuck. hmphmphmhph. How shall he punish you....Ah! Here we are! Picks up a nearby sopping wet pouch full of dead salmon and then hands you a knife]
Prepare these. [read cut them open and remove all the gorey bits people can't eat and then cook it.]
Re: disturbs by
...Forgive my incautiousness. [SORRY I GOT CAUGHT. He does have some balls and he would enjoy keeping them attached to his person.] I am simply thinking of the poor goat-
[what are you doing now. Has a knife??? Is...is that the head of oNE OF YOUR ENEMIES IN A BAG- ]
I- what are these- oh. Vater, for goodness' sake. This is not sterile. I haven't a pan or any seasoning or anything. [what is this barbaric sword you have given him, he needs a fileting knife, and a clean kitchen and rubber gloves or something. But then again...peers a little squeamishly into the bag at this fresh wild caught salmon that is worth quite a lot of money...................fish isn't his favourite thing, but at least you never developed a taste for calamari] Very well, but if you do not enjoy it, do not blame me.
Re: disturbs by
I shall forgive your rudeness, instead. [calling it as it is but okay, excuse him as he wanders off a bit to a bucket of water and pours it over himself to wash off the blood and gunk before quickly dressing himself properly again. TOTALLY IGNORING.]
Silence. Sit and work. [points to literally a cluster of rocks where you will find his kitchen. It's a little earthy and everything is made of rocks, but it is perfectly provided with dried and stretched rabbit intestines, skin and vegetation and leaves to wrap the fish in if you so please.]
I shall go hunting. We will eat when I return. [aka you are wolfing down this kinda smelly because they're hours old and sitting in the sun fish with him and you are going to like it, mister. Stalks off into the woods. Will return with a bear or a mountain lion or some shit and put the fear of Odin into your catholic ass]
Re: disturbs by
Mmph. [watches, wincing at how badly you need soap. God you are so parenty and naggy. And ancient. He appreciates the whole quality time thing, in theory, but why can't you just come to lunch (inside an actual building with real food) or something] Yes, yes.
[HEAVES A SIGH at your ''''''kitchen'''''', everything about this is awful and he feels like a child, BUT WHATEVER. FREE FOOD. F-free food will get him through it.]
Hunting for... [stares at your retreating back as you disappear into the trees like an ogre.] ...what?
[Maybe he should leave.
But maybe you would bodily harm him, so no, he will be sitting on a rock here, trying not to throw up while he cleans these stupid fish (and ruining a nice suit), and eventually preparing miraculously fancy baked salmon crusted with herbs HE THINKS are not poisonous (thanks book), and served with a (random wild berry here) sauce. And you and your dinosaur tastes are going to like it, mister]