part 353 whalers on the moon

[aphanon_meme]

We've been here over a year now! I can hardly believe it! Dreamwidth's been pretty good, I'd say, with almost no downtime to speak of and all that! Anyway... how is your spring going? Or I guess it's almost summer, isn't it? Hopefully it's been well! I've been catching up on work and new movies, all very exciting stuff, I'm sure.

Enjoy part 353!

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Comments

[wild_kuken]

Depends, are those centimeters or millimeters?

da

[(Anonymous)]

Probably mm, if we're talking about guy Prussia's dick. As opposed to lady Prussia's dick.

Re: da

[wild_kuken]

Kesesesesese, the generous as a little bird me lets whoever I'm sleeping with choose the size of my dick! I've got lots of choices!!

Keh, but, I'll at least be generous and say Gil's is bigger than 1mm. It is summer after all!!

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

Is your dick magical and size-changing?

Awww, that's very nice of you... but it's not nice to stroke his ego, if you know what I mean!

Re: da

[wild_kuken]

Yeah, they're called strap-ons. Pretty fucking great if you ask me!!

[snorts] He can do that himself!!

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

Ohhh, I thought we were talking about your real dick!

I'm sure he does, every night!

Re: da

[wild_kuken]

Pffft, like I'd want a freaking weakness like that!! Do you know how many guys I've kicked in the dick and balls? No fucking thanks!

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

... I dunno, how many guys have you kicked in the dick and balls?

And it's not like our lady dicks won't hurt if someone kicked 'em!

Re: da

[wild_kuken]

[squints] Are you Hungarian?

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

No, American!

Re: da

[wild_kuken]

Ameri- Christ. Okay listen up brat because the cool me is only saying this once! Ladies don't have dicks!! We have vaginas and they're awesome 3 weeks a month and no they're not as sensitive as balls and dicks!

And be sure you go yell at Amerika for being negligent while you're at it!! [because you know you have it bad when Prussia is giving you sex ed]

Re: da

[(Anonymous)]

[it's not anon's fault American sex education is so crappy!]

But

well I

then what are those little things on our private parts, then? You know! They look like little dicks....

Re: da

[wild_kuken]

[That's no excuse she grew up a christian crusader obsessed with chastity, and now look at her!! If she can learn sexytime anatomy then so can you!!]

What little- nothing down there looks like little dicks!! H-Here, look!!

[PULLS UP AN ANATOMICALLY CORRECT DIAGRAM ON HER CELLPHONE FOR YOU BECAUSE SHE CANNOT. She didn't even give Germany the Talk.]

[dererste]

[wild_kuken]

I'll just tell you his is bigger again!

[anon started it, don't be so sensitive!]

[dererste]

[wild_kuken]

[dererste]

[texts]


ROFLMAO it took 17 minutes for the Brain to come up with that lame comeback.

You're speechless aren't you?!!!


AREN'T YOU!!!


Admit it!!

Admit it!

Admit it!!

Admit it!!

I'm posting this on fb

[wild_kuken]

I'll be sure to tag Lieselotte if you do, I bet she'd love to hear you dream of her fucking the awesome me

[dererste]

[tAKES A MOMENT to consider if lottie would actually care about that. He is not sure??? but he is willing to risk it...Roderich might flip out but whatever]

TATTLE TALE!!

DIRTY TATTLE TALE!!


UNFORGIVABLE!!!


I won't be deterred!! Lottie's embarrassed angry face is like the finest dessert for me!!


Prepare for public humiliation the same that you have brought down on me again and gain!! [DOES IT ANYWAY bc he lacks foresight and impulse control]

[wild_kuken]

[if she were to guess it would come right after "I have been sleeping with Lottie" and "I have been enjoying Lieselotte" in the list of things that she would care about, there are better ways to announce that kind of thing to the world you know.]

Great, and when you're done with that you can come tell this anon for me why men suck at finding the clitoris

[Tags both Germanies and Brandenburg while she's at it, you want the public involved in your temper tantrum so be it.]

[dererste]

[Is it really a secret if EVERYONE KNOWS bc of the quality "bonding" time they'v been spending with opposite austrias? Surely everyone knows they aren't having overnight tea parties and in his opinion, how can they tell he isn't joking?]

[BUT WhoaH WO W WHOAH YOU ARE GOING TOO FAR. you ARE GOING LIKE PSYCHO LEVELS GETTING BRANDENBURG INVOLVED THAT IS NOT RIGHT]


[UNTAGS THEM ALL]


[AND FUCKING UNFRIENDS YOU]

[he's kinda pissed, he was half joking but YOU TOOK IT TO A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL]

You're the one who fuckin' sucks

[wild_kuken]

Says the guy who dreams about me fucking his girl

[she'll never admit to it but she'll be holding that over your head for a while

AND THAT IS HIS OWN FAULT FOR NOT REMEMBERING THAT HER BERSERK BUTTON IS GETTING OTHER PEOPLE INVOLVED IN THEIR SHIT don't put something up in public if you don't want the public to see it.

There's always Twitter and Instagram, she'll live.]

[dererste]

;)

[all she gets is a smiley face reply bc he gets the feeling that a lack of reaction and passive aggressive emotes would piss someone like her off beyond belief. Besides, IS HE SUPPOSED TO FEEL INSULTED BY IT??? And he by law, makes his conflicts eveeeeeeerybody's conflict. AND he's sure she has dreamt the same at least a few times before.

But yes, he has better things to do like UNFOLLOWING HER EVERYWHERE and PASSIVE AGGRESSIVELY privatizing all his pictures of her just to hurt her. He is dedicated when he is making a petty and childish point.

This is so stupid, he's not even sure why he has this vendetta against her besides probably shallow resentments and frustration, summer boredom, lack of things to do and stirring trouble is just his special talent]

[wild_kuken]

[THE IMPLICATION WAS YOU SUCK SO BAD SHE HAS TO FUCK HER FOR YOU. OH MY GOD HOW ARE YOU THIS STUPID!!!? but yes unresponsive passive aggression is a great way to piss her off, congratulations for taking a peek at Russia's playbook! But then again using glorified madlibs to insult her she shouldn't have expected creativity....]

enjoy squeezing your micropeen to your false sense of victory

[he can at least feel better in knowing he's gonna be seeing a lot of one her faults now: she's the queen of grudge holding.]